Washingdad Oneshots

Food Fight !

Laurens, Lafayette, Hercules, Hamilton, Burr, Jefferson, and Madison are all adults, but they all have childhood trauma and regress. They all usually regress to ages around 2 - 5.
They all live in one house, because overprotective Washingdad doesn't trust them alone, and no, no Phillip, or Eliza.

Modern day time, lol-
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Washingdad's POV

I woke up next to two sleeping toddlers. Well, not really toddlers but- ahh just forget it. It's late, and I have to get them to work. "Alex and Tommy, wake up." I leaned up, and picked them both up. Holding Hamilton close to my side, and and walking with Jefferson clutching to a finger of mine.

We were walking to wake the rest of my kids. I opened the door, and found
Laurens and Burr fighting, "Ooh~" cooed Madison, Lafayette and Hercules. "Woah, woah, woah. Break it up!" I said. I put Hamilton on the floor, he giggled the made a bubble of saliva. Jefferson let go of me and started making funny faces to Hamilton, they both giggled. I stormed to Burr and Laurens. "You meany" Burr said, blowing raspberries. "No! I no meany, you g-gab Lex." I knelt down to their size, "Why are you arguing?" I said to them, "Well, my teddy smells like pee, and I can't slweep without him." Burr cried, "So I-I twook Laurens's." I nodded, "Give me the Teddy, Burr." He waddled to his bed, and waddled back, handing me the teddy bear. I sniffed it, "French piss," I murmured. "LAFAYETTE!" I yelled, Lafayette scurried around and I chased him. "Ugh, we have no time! Just put on your clothes." I told all of them, "We'll argue about this later"

I sped-walk to Hamilton and Jefferson, since they were the youngest, they didn't know how to dress themselves.
I picked up Hamilton, and brought him to the nursery. He started to cry, I swear. In this state, they can't be without each other. But when they start acting like adults, they could move to different countries and still be arguing about breathing the same air or something. "Shh, shh. You'll be with Tommy in a second."

I carried him into the nursery, and took out his green button up coat, his brown pants and his boxers. "Come here Alex," I picked him up and put him on the 'changing table'. I took of his pajamas and dirty boxers, and put him in new ones, then he hopped into his pants, I pulled them up and buckled them for him. "Dada, I hungry!" He said while fiddling with his fingers, and sucking his thumb. "I know, now arms up." I commanded him, and he obeyed. He lifted his arms up, and I pulled a white shirt sleeve shirt onto him, than I slick on his coat on and I button his coat. Then I tie his neck piece.

"You can go play with the others Alexander." He giggled and scurried to play with Laurens on the staircase.
"Come Awex!" Lauren called. "Tommy, come here bud!" Thomas ran to me, and then made grabby hands at his purple coat. "I know, I know. You'll have it in one second." I said to him.
Jefferson was always an open, social butterfly and he always shared but he switched up when I came to his purple coat. He would kick, fight, punch and yell for that coat. I always wondered why? I'll ask him later, when we all go out for dinner tonight, or when he is out of that child like mind state.

I repeated the process that I went through with Hamilton, and then I handed Jefferson his coat. He hugged it and whispered to it, "I missed you Mr Purple." I chuckled, I guess every one of my kid has a special object/item(s) that means something important to them. Hercules had his bandana, Hamilton his quill and paper that he uses to draw with, Laurens has Lex, his teddy bear. Burr has Sir Margus, basically a soldier action figure and a teddy bear, Madison had a rattle, Jefferson has his coat and Lafayette has a blanket his mother made him before she had died.

I have to make them breakfast, ahh forget it. I'll just give them those GoGo squeezes with baby food in it. I ran down into the kitchen and opened the fridge to find the box of the GoGo Squeezes. I took 7 peach and orange ones and gave one to each kid. "I dwon't wike peach, I wike apple." Hamilton whined, "Just take it bud, we'll get food later." He nodded in response and then laid his head on Laurens lap when we got to the car. Madison and Burr were playing patty cake, Jefferson was pulling Laurens hair and clutching Hamilton while he was asleep, Hercules was giggling because he had his bandana over his eyes and Lafayette was screaming French words.  I groaned because of the noise. "Be quiet, Washingdad's trying to dri-" I almost crashed, "AHHH!" I screamed, while all the kids started to giggle. I wiped the sweat of my forehead and covered my ears while watching the asshole I almost crashed into yell at me, the babies scream and giggle. Suddenly,

SPLAT!

Babie food is all over the windows and my face, Burr the oldest screamed "FOOD FIGHT!" and everyone started to throw food.
I looked back, Hamilton and Jefferson were at each other's throats. Hamilton was on top of Jefferson, Jefferson took slop from his face and threw it on Hamilton's, and then Hamilton threw the stuff back. They repeated this cycle. Burr was standing up on one of the seats with two lines of slop across each cheek. "Let the baby games begin!" I've let them watch to much TV. "*SCREECH*" Lafayette screeched in a French way, and then pushed Burr, shoving peach baby food in Burrs mouth. "Freedwom for France!"
Madison was in the back, back seat. Hiding from the food. Hercules and Laurens kept throwing food and moving their arms in circular motion.

"STOP! NOW!" I screamed, and they all quieted down. They all scurried, and sat down. Madison held his nose holding in a squeak, "You can sneeze, son." He nodded and sneezed. We were already there at the office parking lot. "All of you get up, and go into my office. Each and every one of you are grounded." I said firmly. "B-but I didn't participate in their barbarous activities!" Said James, "Everyone is taking responsibility. Now out!" I pointed outside and then sighed annoyed.

I pulled out wipes and started to clean the seats, I had a spray bottle to spray alcohol.

After 45 minutes I stopped cleaning and flopped down, panting. "Kids are mes-" I saw Sally staring into the car. "S-sir, are you alright? You seem to be in a bit of distress...?" I leaned up, and opened the car door. "My kids- are-" Before I could finish, she cut me off accidentally. "Sir?! You have kids?!" She almost squealed. She was my most loyal employee, well expect for my 'children' of course. "W-well they aren't really my kids, but I have to get going. Make sure you hang my keys in the one that has G.W on it, okay?" She nodded, and then I ran out the car. She closed the door for me and then walked back to the other office building with the cubicles.

I ran to my office, all my son's sitting on the couch. I lectured them for almost the whole day, barely getting any work in.

After I lectured them, my throat felt parched. I went to my couch and laid down. "I need a nap, parenting is hard."