Why you negan×reader

Violets

Violets. Hundreds of violets. They lay soft kisses over my skin. Their deep, rich purple color was all I could see. Their soft tender aroma tickled my nose and flooded my senses. A warmth bubbled in my lower stomach. I was bleeding. Blood seeped out of me, staining the once lilac flowers, making them a deep plum color. I clutched my stomach in a futile attempt to stop my inevitable death. At least I'll die surrounded by this floral beauty. How did I get here? What happened? 

I felt no pain, most likely cause of the adrenaline. I almost wanted to laugh. I was so stupid. I guess this was how this was always gonna end, I deserved this. I'm sorry- Negan, I'm so sorry. I should've never fallen in love with you.

"Agh!" I gasped loudly as I was kicked directly in my stomach.

"See now, I said that shit will not fly." I glared up into the eyes of my captor- negan. Rage bubbled in the pit of my stomach.

"Fuck you" I spat out at him. He bent down and grabbed my chin roughly"I'm sorry darlin, did I hear you right? Cause I'm certain you did not just talk back to me? Those lady balls of yours will get you and all those piss ants here killed, no fucking hesitation." he said with a venom-laced tongue. I didn't utter a word. He could threaten me all he pleased but I would not dare have my friend's blood on my hands. A deep chuckle rumbled out of him as he stood straight up again."Yeah darlin.... that's what I thought"

He paced back and forth between our group. I glanced at our leader, Rick, I'll admit he looked scared shitless. "Now I'm gonna beat the living hell outta one of you" Negan proclaimed loudly.

My eyes darted to the ground. I'll admit, I am scared. I certainly didn't wanna die nor did I wanna lose these people, they were my family. He continued to pace back and forth for what seemed like an eternity but in reality, was probably only a couple of seconds. "I simply cannot decide" he said. I glanced up at him as he scratched at his beard attempting to figure out who to slaughter. This man made me sick, he was enjoying this. That fact frightened me the most. "I have an idea!" He said in a more cheerful tone. He paced up to me and put his bat in my face.

I was certain I was gonna die and that he was gonna bash my head in right now. I sucked my breath in sharply through my teeth preparing for the worst. "Eenie" he said flatly and walked to a different person in my group- Rosita "meenie"

I quickly realized what he was doing he was toying with us. Our lives were a game to him, and now he's using a child's game to determine who dies. Me, Rosita, Carl, Rick, Daryl, Michonne, Aaron, Sasha, Maggie, Glenn, Eugene, and then finally- Abraham. "It"

"Anybody moves anybody says anything cut the kid's other eye out and feed it to his father, you can breathe you can blink you can cry, hell you're all gonna be doing that" I started sobbing as a loud thwack echoed around me. "Oh look at that taking it like a champ!" Negan boomed "suck... my... nuts" I hear Abraham say proudly. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Tears streamed down my face dropping gently on the ground and my lap. What did we do to deserve this?

Another loud thwack ran out. I heard Abraham's body drop to the floor. Our group's cries rang out as we lost someone so close to us. Loud thwacks continue to ring out as negan continued to smash his head in, even after it was turned into mush. He was sick, demented, a psychopath.

"Did you hear that, he said - Suck my nuts" Negan said with a deep chuckle, breathing deeply. Then he went back to hitting Abraham's head, well what was left of it, him grunting with every hit, you could tell he was putting his all into his blows.

I mustered up all my courage to look up at him. Snot ran down my nose and my face felt hot and cold at the same time. I felt like shit. Negan leaned back and said in a light-hearted tone "oh my goodness! Look at this!" He swung Lucille- his bat flinging Abraham's blood onto Rick's face in the process.

A deep laugh erupted from Negan "you guys look at my dirty girl" he slowly approached Rosita putting the bloody bat directly in her face. My eyes didn't leave his body not once. "Sweetheart, lay your eyes on this" he said to Rosita. I felt extremely bad for her. we all felt like shit but I couldn't begin to imagine what this felt like for her.

"Oh damn- were you- were you together?" he asked "that sucks but if you were you should know there was a reason for all this. Red, he was is and will ever be red. He just took one or six or seven for the team! So take... a damn look" he said as he pushed the bat further into Rosita's face. I heard her shaky breathing as she tried to contain her cries. "Take a damn look!" He practically screamed at her.

In that moment I wanted to jump up and beat the holy hell out of him. Daryl beat me to the punch though- he quickly stood up and decked negan right in the side of his face. My eyes widened as a couple of Negan's men grabbed him and pinned him down.

"No! Oh no!" Negan said pointing his bat in Daryl's direction. I was horrified. My mouth opened and closed like I was a fish out of water. I silently begged that he wouldn't kill Daryl, I wasn't religious but if there is a God I need him more than ever now. "That! Oh my- That is a no-no!" Negan said as he crouched by Daryl. "The whole thing- not one of that shit flies here" one of Negan's men came up with Daryls' crossbow and pointed it straight at Daryl's head. Dwight, I think his name was. "Want me to do it? Right here" Dwight inquired. I could tell he wanted to murder Daryl.

Negan grabbed at Daryl's hair and pulled his head back. "No-you don't kill them not until you try a little." Negan said up to Dwight. I let out a deep breath I didn't even know I was holding. Relief washed over me as I realized, Daryl wasn't gonna die.

Dwight had a disappointed look on his face as he dragged Daryl back into line. Negan stood up straight again" and anyway- that's not how this works. Now, I already told you people, first ones free- Then, what'd I say? I said I'd shut that shit down! No exceptions. Now, I don't know what kind of lying assholes you've been dealing with... but I'm a man of my word. First impressions are important. I need you to know me. So... back to it" he quickly turned and smacked the person's head closest to him... Glenn.

The ground was suddenly the only thing I could look at. I completely blocked out everything else that was happening, not wanting to believe this was real. The dull ache in my stomach suddenly became worse. It was like time slowed down. It should've been me, he had a life he had a baby on the way. Now he'll never get to meet his child, it should've been me.

Next thing I know I feel people tug me up from my knees and panic sets in. I attempt to pull away. I see Negan dragging Rick by the back of his shirt to the trailer. "load em up" Negan says with a wide smirk. I was dragged violently along with Daryl into a back of a truck. Surprisingly they left us in there alone together.

I looked up at Daryl. He looked distraught, could I blame him though? I probably looked the same. I gently reached over and grabbed his hand not uttering a word. Was this for me or him I couldn't really tell you. "We'll be ok" I whispered so quietly Daryl probably couldn't even hear me. I wasn't necessarily saying it for him though.

We sat in silence for what felt like days. The deaths of our friends replaying in my head causing me a major headache. I was also exhausted. I don't know exactly when I fell asleep.

I dreamt of killing Negan. Wrapping my hands around his throat and watching the life leave his big brown eyes. I will kill him no matter what, even if it kills me.