Transboo and beeduo

interalized transphobia

*ranboo is in his room* he is wearing a red thight shrit * im dislexic sorry  tw self hate *if he moved la

why am i girl . why do i feel like a girl , what is wrong with me . nobody likes a girl who thinks that they are a boy . those are the thoghts that were in my head. i hated me body , the large chest i have , the huge waist i had . i think i hate every thing about my self . i felt my eyes start to burn ,i bit my lip knowing my mom's room is next to mine . i looked at my chest . the door, a boak bag , then my closet . i put 10 sports bras , 9 shirts , 10 oversized hoddies  , 3 shorts , 7 pairs of pants , my inhahaler and my phone i put my phone in the pocket sand every thing  other then that in the bag . i looked at my window , opened it to my window . my mom whold not thing anything of it becuse i always have my window open . i liffed the window screen ,grabbed my bag and crawled out of my window . i ran as fast as could without passing out . my eyes started burning but this time i could not stop the tears . i heard sombody scream (dead name ) i ran so fast i almost passed out i scrameled in my bag to fined my inhaler . i found it i used it then ran agian . i grabbed my phone out of my pocket . i didnt know whos to call so i said think (deadname) think  . i swolowed my spit and it felt like i swoled a bolder . i felt my eyes burn tears were rusing . i ran agian . i stoped and looked threw my contacts. . eret ....... waiting for a ansswr . hi eret i say shakaly. wow are you ok eret says . well i i i need a place to stay its not the best place at home right now i say ...... well where are you eret says. well im shit i hear my mom call my deadname agian i run .... i start suffaling truew my bag for my inhaler muted my phone and used it . i unmuted my phone loooked at the street sighn and said (streetname) oh ok im 2 mins away keep your flashlight on o o ok i said . why cant i just be a real boy and haev a flat cesht like the normal boys have i thoght to myself .

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