Love Kills

wedding

"we are fucking gathered here today, to celebrate this amazing, fucking bond between these two beautiful couples." amber held a bible in between her hands, widely smiling as kaysain and dolps all held each other's hands at the altar.

"to think i started out at an ikea and now i'm the maid of honour at an olympic themed wedding." ireth whispered into a bridesmaid's ear, earning brooklyn's attention. "i've gotta say... they look so cute."

"you look dashing, my love." usain purred at kayleigh, then awkwardly raised an eyebrow at doris. "and you look... fine."

"no, she looks hot!" michael foretold, then winked at the girl of his dreams. "and looks great in white."

"do you want to get married or not?" amber bursted due to her frustration with the current interruption. "can i continue, buttheads?"

"yes, continue!" kayleigh fake giggled, then sent her fiancé a look that could kill. "excuse the men."

"anyways, let's-"

amber was interrupted again by the sound of sidekick shredding on his electric guitar, playing the intro to wherever i may roam.

"what the fuck? is there a problem?"

"what? doris wants more metallica to be played on her special day." sidekick raised his arms up in defense, then pointed towards the metalhead. "i guess she didn't specify when..."

"if my wife wants metallica, then she'll get metallica!" michael raged, similar to the way he does in most of those discord gifs. "call my agent, get him on the phone and tell him we need james hetfield!"

"she isn't even your wife yet, i'm trying to make that happen but you won't shut the fuck up!" amber slapped michael across the face with her bible, alarming the crowd. "fuck this. just kiss each other so i can go get a drink!"

"oh, kayleigh! this is it!" usain gave the girl he loves a smooch, michael doing the same with doris as they all finally tie the knot.

"excuse me, mister? i can't see anything!" a guest sitting behind grant complained, then attempted to remove the santa hat off his head. "i just missed the kiss!"

"you want a kiss? kiss my ass, bozo." grant retaliated, nearly making the woman behind him cry due to embarrassment.

"and now, a special performance from the one and only... grant from grant.com!" amber announced as the audience began cheer.

"primadonna girl! yeah!" grant suddenly pulled a microphone out from nowhere, nailing every single note of the song. "all i ever wanted was the world!"

"so true, grant!" doris and ireth began to dance in place, gaining a boost of serotonin
from the man's vocals.

"not without me!" sidekick joined in on the performance, providing grant with the instrumentals since he had a guitar handy. "i'm just glad they didn't make me do this with the outsider!"

"come on, everyone!" kayleigh called out, then ushered everyone out of their seats. "let's party!"