Chapter Eight: Shock The World/ Already Won
"I tried to motivate the people but I made 'em angry. I tried to show 'em it was all love, that made 'em hate me. They criticize me and talk bad 'bout me on the daily. I get the money and stay out the way, they think I'm crazy. Maybe if I weren't built for this, I'd let it phase me. Can't bend or fold, my folks dependin' on for me to make it."- Rod Wave
They told me I wasn't going to graduate from high school after I caught my first case. They told me I will never be able to follow the dreams I wrote down to chase. How can you tell me I won't be shit when all I knew was to hustle. I shocked the world when I put out my first book and after that I fell in love with writing. Writing gives me a peace of mind I usually don't get to enjoy. I have people that's looking up to me and I'll be damned if I let them down by becoming a statistic. I be trying to be one of the best people in this world that's so cold. You make it out the hood they say it's luck. You become a statistic they start saying you suck. Nothing is never good enough for the next man. That's why I live my life how I want to and only allow positive energy around my life. Nobody goes hard for me like I go hard for me. I wouldn't say I do everything on my own but when it's time for me only to step up I make sure I leave with everything I desire. I desired to do better than last year and I made it happen. All I needed was real love and GOD. GOD comes first in every blessing and every lesson that I gained throughout my years of living. I lost everything but I'm glad I didn't fully lose myself. I showed the world that through the pain you still can smile. I showed people how to love with an broken heart. I showed people how to face every failure and overcome them. I never asked for nothing in return but to remain loyal to me. They told me my loyalty will get me killed, but if that's what it come down to then so be it. I can't switch, I can't change how I am because I know if I do that then I went against it everything I stand on. I stand on love, family, loyalty and most importantly GOD. We're nothing without him, I'm nothing without him.
When it was time for head count, it's like the guards don't miss but this time I just knew I got they ass. I've been planning this escapes for months so I know how to hit every spot i need to go to, to escape.
(I woke up from a door opening and somebody yelling "Head count!")
Deep in my thoughts wishing it was a way I could escape. Escape from life and everybody in it, I rather be lonely than being around a bunch of people when I'm not happy. I haven't been happy in so long but through it all I always made sure I came out on top. I beat the odds even when they told me I couldn't. I wrote four books in a two to three year span. The first author from my hood, I can brag different. I already won before starting my author journey because GOD knew this was my destiny. It be often I get in my thoughts about losses. Being the life of the room when you walk in it use to be cool and all until that same room turned against me. I have to be more selfish and Starr loving myself. KO said "it might be the realest story I ever told, for all my problems I have a blunt rolled. I smoke to hide from pain because when I was drinking to find closure only made the pain worse. Had me turning into a monster but I'm glad I found closure with GOD before it was too late.
"A giant looks in a mirror and sees nothing." Donda West
I look in the mirror and be ashamed of who I am. I'm ashamed on being homeless, not physically but mentally. I just knew I'll be bigger than what I am. Watching Kanye documentary made me realize that the whole time I'm doubting myself, there's always somebody watching you thinking you doing great.
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Soul Fly
Teen Fiction"But I know God give his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers. Don't cry for me when the war is over. Just know I finally found that peace that I was looking for. Look, look, living life on the run, too many problems at once. Too stressed, can'...
