𝐄𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 | 𝙴𝙹𝙰♡︎

Chapter 7: 'Innocent'

Nothing hurts like a bad memory. The feeling of regret, shame and guilt cultivated in one distinctly humiliating moment from the past. It is either a time when a person didn't know what they were saying or didn't know what they could say. When nothing felt right.

"I need a break."

Amid contemplation, Eren swings back his water bottle, brushing past his lips and back down. He grips the container out of a rush of unfounded spite. The left hand -unused- rubs away moisture from across his lip. A breath rumbles through him.

"I need a break."

He leans his figure against the wall as that flashback blitzes through him. It shrivels him, tangling his mind with that sombre dispatchment. All are sensations he hoped to have forgotten days ago. Along with the words come the emotions, those still fresh to him. Eren tries to draw his mind away from the memory but it takes shape unavoidably.

He remembers how those gentle features looked towards him that day. He could see fear in those eyes. It was a sight he never wanted to see again.

"I can change, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I won't do this again," he had begged, each word more pathetically improvised than the last. Something about seeing those eyes flushed with fear brought him desperation. His stomach boiled with it, causing the words to come out with an acidic pain laced between them. "Just don't end it. Come on, baby, please."

Eren smacks his head against the wall, harder each time as he relives every second of that night. It's torturous, he knows that yet the images won't stop.

He imagines Armin's teeth clenched tightly, his gaze darted away, his lip beginning to tremble, all as he mouthed the ever-so haunting words.

"I need a-"

"Eren."

Surprised, the brunette's head almost jumps back up in a sudden, unprovoked movement. His eyes meet the two cold pupils belonging to one woman and one woman only- his fellow trainer, Mikasa.

She crosses her arms as she looks towards him. The tone she uses is obtuse. "You're zoning out again. Keep your head in it."

"Yeah, yeah."

Eren avoids her gaze as he steps away from the wall.

A lush, green oval lays ahead of him, overshadowed by the blaring sun above them. It is inviting, though far from deserted. The area is full of other students, those running laps while in uniform, groups huddling together and people using sports equipment. The people surrounding them come from Eren's Fitness Trainer Certification, Mikasa's Outdoor Leadership Certification as well as other sporty courses.

It's a nice day to push forward in his certificate, even though he struggles to find motivation.

The task he's yet to complete involves constructing a workout regime. He's been designing one down to the last detail and will need to present it to his supervisor in a week. It's been a strenuous activity for Eren, as there are several factors to keep in mind -calorie intake, a diet plan, types of exercise measures, workout machinery, etc.- to finish this assignment. He's spent time on the field measuring his regime's efficiency.

Mikasa walks behind him as he heads to the exercise equipment storage room.

"Are you testing this out on me again?" she asks.

He finds the battle rope coiled up in the back of the room. As he takes hold, he answers, "no, I'll be fine."

"Will you?" her response is irritatingly rhetorical. "You're slower than usual."