No one really thinks it's hard to be a stand-in, right?

Chapter 20 Mu Shaoai

   "Crash-"

    In the bathroom late at night, the sound of water sounded.

    Fu Chenyu's hands were flushed red in the cold water, but he rubbed his fingers desperately as if he had no feeling.

    The boy's face was pale, there was no shame and surprise of growing into an adult, only endless fear.

    In the dream, Ji Mian's face kept changing and appearing in front of his eyes. Fu Chenyu was startled and looked up at the mirror. In the mirror, there were only his bloodshot eyes that had not yet subsided.

    After a long while, he suddenly felt that his appearance was very disgusting.

    "Whoa-"

    There was another sound of water, and Fu Chenyu suddenly splashed cold water on his face.

    It was already late autumn in November, and the cold water stimulated him to wake up a bit. Fu Chenyu held the white tiles in his hands, and it took him a long time to calm down.

    When he got back to the bedroom, he had changed into clean trousers and sheets.

    Sitting in front of the computer, Fu Chenyu skillfully searched the Internet for three words: homosexuality.

    No matter how ignorant he is, under the influence of jokes of various colors from his peers, he also knows that it is normal for boys to be interested in girls.

    However, he had a desire for Ji Mian, and had unwanted thoughts about his playmates from childhood to adulthood.

  He thought that his love for Ji Mian was very simple, and now this simple feeling is being unbridled by black lust.

    The seeds buried deep in Fu Chenyu's heart seemed to be gradually sprouting, and the vague emotions of his childhood gradually took shape, and he realized that his possessiveness towards Ji Mian was far more than that.

    In the 2000s, domestic search engines treated homosexuality relatively conservatively. Some asked themselves whether they were gay or not, and some parents asked whether their children were gay, but there was no effective suggestion.

    More voices show "perverted", "abnormal", "this is a treatable disease".

    Fu Chenyu read it silently, and went to the foreign website without hesitation.

    The attitude towards homosexuality abroad is much looser, but it still shows that this is not a kind of love that can be recognized by most people.

    This road is destined to be difficult and destined to be alone.

    Fu Chenyu sat in front of the computer for a long time, as if he had become a statue for a long time.

    He didn't turn off the computer and lay back on the bed until there was a cheerful chirping of birds outside the window and Tianfang's fish belly rose.

    That night, the thirteen-year-old boy, carrying bitter secrets and almost hopeless love, stayed up all night.

    The first year of Ji Mian's junior high school was uneventful, and in a blink of an eye it was the end of the year.

    I don't know if it was his delusion, but this semester, Fu Chenyu seemed to have a cold attitude towards himself. Every time he took the initiative to invite Fu Chenyu to go with him after school, or to play basketball on the playground, he was rejected by Fu Chenyu for various reasons.

    Sometimes he even ignores him.

    If it wasn't for the things we experienced together in elementary school, Ji Mian would have thought that Fu Chenyu hated him.