Standing Up

Part 7

Saturday morning couldn't come soon enough. All night, I tossed and turned with all the thoughts that bombarded my restless mind.

But one of the things I couldn't keep out of my mind.... Was harry.

His chocolate curls and piercing emerald green eyes paired with his adorable protruding dimples, drove me crazy all night long.

That's when I realized something. After the night I kissed Harry, I could never be "just friends" with him. I've always wanted to be something more, and since he's finally out of Brittany's grasp, I have my chance with him.

And tonight is the perfect night to tell Harry how I really feel about him. I can pull him aside from all the people at the party and spill my heart out. No fear this time.

I'm not the kind of girl that fusses for hours over her outfit or her hair, but tonight was different. If I'm gonna unveil my true feelings to harry then I'm going to have to look my best.

Before you knew it, 8:00 had rolled around and I was all done up, and ready to go.

I wore a tight, form fitting plum dress that made my hazel eyes pop. My, recently curled, chocolate brown hair cascaded over my shoulders elegantly accenting the outfit. My make up was simple, a dark berry color stained my lips and my eyes were lined with black.

I sighed while staring at myself in the full length mirror.

I really hope harry likes it.

In a blink of an eye, I was out the door and fast walking to Harry's party across the street.

As I entered into the house, the thump of the beat of the deafening music grew louder. This didn't even look like his place anymore. The lights were dimmed and a thousand teenage bodies grinding against each other to the beat of the dance music.

I felt extremely uncomfortable In these sort of situations. I'm not really the party going sort of girl. As I venture deeper into the crowded living room, you see the people just get dirtier and raunchier. An occasional couple making out in the corner, and a group of kids shooting up heroin and snorting cocain. I'm sure harry doesn't know things are getting this bad. I doubt he would have the tolerance for such things.

At that, I decided to set out for harry. I searched every inch of the downstairs perimeter and there was no sign of him anywhere. So I decided to check upstairs. I knew this would be dangerous because there are bedrooms upstairs and what do you expect at a high school party? A couple ready to do the horizontal mambo. If you know what I mean.

First I knocked on the bathroom door.

"Harry?" I asked.

But I was only answered by the sound of a drunk girl vomiting her guts out.

I moved on to the next room, and unthinkingly opened the surprisingly unlocked door. I found myself awkwardly standing in front of a topless girl giving a boy a lap dance. She quickly covered herself and shouted; "GET OUT!"

"Oh my god I'm so-" and I stopped dead in my tracks realizing who the couple was. I knew that voice...

"Tori?" I inquired.

"Oh my god.." She said while jumping off the boy and slipping her shirt back on.

In the dark room I couldn't initially tell who the boy was either. But suddenly I saw who it was. And it tore my heart to shreds. His fluffy brown curls gave it away immediately.

It was Harry.

Tears weld up in my eyes and I buried my face in one hand while the other pushes people out of my way to get to the front door. I just wanted to be home.

"BELLE!" I heard him cry out.

But I don't know if I could face him again. Not after that. And there's definitely no way I can tell him my feelings now.

I shove my way out the door with tears streaming down my cheeks. I bolt across the street and through my front door, carelessly leaving it open. The tears fell harder and faster as I approached my bathroom. I ran up to the tub and quickly flipped the water on and began to fill the tub. I strip down to nothing and hop in, careful to grab the previously used razor.

I slowly slide into the tub. As soon as I relax, I take the blade and deeply slash repeatedly into my wrists. I've never cut this deep before, and I see tiny blood clots flowing out of the wounds. That's when I knew I hit a vein.

"Shit!" I say.

If I don't get it stitched up soon, I could bleed out and die. I attempt to stand in the bathtub , but only slip and fall back in.

"H-help." I try to scream, but I only muster out a mere whisper.

My arm is going numb along with the rest of my body and my head unwillingly slips under the water. My entire body is now emersed in the continually flowing liquid.

That's when everything went black...