Where to next?

Chapter One - Remembering the past

10.37 Am...
   "And remember, if anything bothers you again you can always find us or call, okay Maya?", A tall woman in a bright red long sleeve crop top with long trousers says

    "Yeah,...Thanks Maddie.." I pick up my bag that was next to me on the table that was stuffed with my things and begin to head outside
    
     "Maya!", The lady in red calls again "What?" I reply with a bit of drag to it "I don't want to get phone calls from anyone about you doing things I wouldn't want"
  
     "Sure, sure you've told me this several times, I get it already", I pick up my pace and head to the door as fast as I could, as I opened the door having a moment to feel the breeze on my skin I feel the weight of a second person. It was Maddie, she was hugging me "Um, Maddie?"

       "No, no...I'm not crying", I definitely wouldn't believe her, there she was in front of me with water in her eyes. I turn back to her and hold her hand "Maddie I promise I'll be fine, infact I'll try my best to come back at least once in two weeks" I say with enthusiasm to lighten her mood

       "Of course you will" Maddie ruffles my hair while looking at me "You grow up fast, even if I'm not your mother or Foster always remember I love you Maya", I look up to look at her eyes, she seems sincere "I know Maddie, um, I have to go...bye maddie" I resume were I left off at the door and leave, I turn my head slightly and saw Maddie still standing at the door with her caring smile.

      I was finally free, from the depression, bullying, suicides, gangs and more I really don't want to return to that life... I want to make my mom proud at least, what she would want is for her child to be happy, right? I hope so. Mom, I miss you I wish I was with you, I'll try to make my life better maybe you would have...have loved me more...

      I walk up to a glass building and check myself out, I still look the same as ever. Black and white dyed hair, lifeless eyes, pale face with red lips, oddly beautiful and a little above the average height and unusually skinny, reminds me of years ago

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4 Years Ago,

Clatter...
Clatter....
Clatter.....

        I woke up to the sound of glass breaking and walk up to my door, opening it slightly I see the sight I see almost everyday, my dad getting violently aggressive to my mom with her bleeding  severely on the ground but I've been use to this for many years already...nothing has really changed. I casually walk out of my room and past my mom into the kitchen

       Grabbing a chair near by, I reach out to get the first aid and head over back to my mom's side after noticing my dad's absence, I take out bandages because that is the basic I can really do for my mom because dad is out gambling all our money while mom works tirelessly paying off her debts as well as his at the same time having to do self medication as there's no money to see a  doctor, and I just try to survive

Click...

         I hear the sound of the door opening I try to pack the first aid as soon as possible because I know what would happen if I'm caught helping my mom.

         I get up and turn to leave, just until  I spot the gloves under my mom. I head over to my mom again thinking I have enough time to grab the glove when I hear the door close behind me...

        "Maya? What are you doing?!" My dad yells, meanwhile I try my best to cover the first aid box but due to my oddly small Size for a eight year old caused by my lack of food, my dad was able to see the aid kit, "I see you've decided to help that Good-for-nothing woman who calls herself a wife to get up, maybe if I do to you what I did to her you would understand never to interfere

       I didn't retreat nor retaliate because I knew my punishment would be doubled for mostly my mom so I stood still, looking at my mom who once looked as beautiful as a goddess but now was looking lifeless on the floor despite her not being dead, I don't even know why I'm helping her. Is it because I understand how hard she works? The difficulties she's facing? Is it probably because I am her blood? I don't seem to understand, I always have an urge to help you regardless of the consequence

      I look up at my dad and see him with a whip "Oh ho Oh, you now think you can look me in the eye, like mother and daughter I'll show you both your place" and just like that I was whipped several times, no matter the amount of tears that fell it didn't affect him, no matter my age it didn't affect him, I fall face flat while still looking for the hand of my mother, her warmth is the only thing I need in this world as long as she's with me nothing else matter because nothing actually does matter

        I still never seem to understand what I did wrong that my dad had such rage for me? Why me? Why my mom? I have always done everything he has asked, I've obeyed every instructions, I've tried gaining he's love but he still treats me like this, I always curse my existence, questioned myself if I'm the course of all this misery for my mom?, maybe if I had not been born or disappeared everything would be fine

     As words and thoughts and questions pile up in my head with the sound of me being whipped I suddenly feel something holding me close, I'm to weak to move scars everywhere but judging by the muffled screams around and the usual warmth I knew it was my mom, she's always there by my side taking whatever is being done to me to be taken on her, I hate myself for this. I promise, I promise to be strong, I need time, I need more warmth....

     As it is, this is just the beginning of every normal day.....

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Author's note:
How do you like the start very 'sadish' I know, I even cried when I wrote this NGL but make sure you support this book for more and follow Maya and how changes will happen to her black world 🖤