BILLIE-HALES & ZEALOUS

Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

I step closer and lift my hand to caress her cheek. Of course, I end up losing all function to breathe when she closes her eyes and leans into it.

"There might have been a time when I would have stepped away. I wouldn't have even tried to stick around, but I think I think that you could save my life."

Yes, I'm telling her the words. The same words she sang tonight. Well, just about anyway. But I felt every word she sang. Every word had hit home.

"Baby-B, just don't give up on me. Not yet. Please, Baby just let me try this."
I watch more tears escape from her Bellissima greens. I then watch in fascination when she finally takes a breath. That's when I lean in and kiss her I'm kissing Billie-Hales, for the first time. I'm kissing her and she's kissing me too. Honestly, it's probably one of the best kisses that I've ever had too. I'm lost completely lost in this woman. I think that I could drown in her.
Eventually, after finally coming back down to earth, we slowly pull our lips apart. Only we don't pull away completely. No, we're still so close that I'm scared to move just for fear that I'll lose her.

"Billie, baby, there was once upon a time that, I wouldn't give a damn. Damn it, baby, I'm so afraid I'll do what everybody says. I'm terrified it's the last thing that I'd ever want to do to you."
She finally speaks after clearing her clogged throat.
"I-I get it Zealie. I get your fears, and I get them because I have them too. But now here we are and I-I have to ask Zealie, what do you want from me? That first night you'd stood there and told me you don't know what's happening you don't know what you want.
So now I'm asking you again... What do you want from me."
Still, she's looking into my eyes, almost pleading for me to tell her.
"I just want you. I want you so fucking bad, I'm still trying to work this shit out in my head. Yet I know I know I want you.
Fuck, just seeing him kiss you, felt like torture Billie. I wanted to drag him off you. I wanted to tear the room apart just to get to you and drag you away from him, but I don't deserve you, baby.
Everyone keeps on telling me, not to hurt you, but how can I hurt you, if you keep on pushing me away?
I just need a chance. Please, baby-B, just, don't give up. I swear I'm still working this out. Please don't give in. I swear, I'll do my damn best to not let you down. Since the first moment I looked into your Bellissima eyes. Shit. Baby, it's messed me up. Baby, Billie-Hales, can I keep on coming around? Can you let me allow us to try this? Please, I-I just need a chance. I need we need to try this."

I feel her lips press against mine again, totally taking my breath away with what she whispered against my lips.

"Just keep coming around. But Zealie, if... if I agree to this, there are rules. The main rule is no more women. If we're doing this, I want your full attention. No walking into a room scoping it out for your next fix. No more running off and dumping my arse alone. Rule number two never cheat on me.
This is new I get it, but you even so much as touch, another woman? Then we're done.
Zealie, I'm it. No one else will ever touch you again. So if you're in, and you want this us me, it's all or nothing. So can you do that? Do you think you could give me your heart?"
Oh, fuck! This. Shit. fuck! My eyes go a little wide shocked at hearing her words. Can I do that? I mean, yeah, I want her and I'll do my damn best to stay away from all women. I suddenly get the image of her wrapped in Chris' arms and I remember the pain of seeing it too. Oh fuck, no! I couldn't do that again I couldn't see that again. It hurt like a fucker!
"Baby, I won't let you down. I just want you. Just the thought of anybody, trying to take you, away from me. I'd kill every fucker who dared to even come between us."
She chuckles while shaking her head, telling me it's a little extreme.
"But it's a start. We-we'll take our time okay? I think we need just a second to breathe. You know, see how we go."
As soon as she says the words, we both take in a deep breath together. We're both taking air into our lungs for the first time tonight.
"Okay, I can do that. I swear I'll do my damn best to never hurt you. I never want to hurt you again. As for, my heart? Well."
I'm suddenly cut off when we hear her phone chime and when she pulls it from her bra. That's sexy as fuck!, but when she pulls it from her bra, she sighs, and I knew it was time to go home. This causes me to sigh too and as I lean my head against hers my heart pulls. Every bone in my body is telling me to keep hold of her.
"I-I don't want to leave you. I... Shit, Baby-B, I don't want you to leave me."
When I hear myself say this, I end up huffing out a chuckle. I mean, come on I'd never imagined myself to, ever say that. I mean, just being here with her and telling her this. Well, it's so not me, but I just can't stop not with her.
She types in her response on her phone and then when she's done she tucks it back into her bra.
"Come on then. Let's go."
She reached down, taking hold of my hand. It caused an instant buzz to run through my body, but I don't move so she turns her head, looking at my hand and then back up to me. She's looking at me wondering why I've stopped and honestly, I've no clue why either. I mean, any other time I would've jumped at the chance to take her home and do what I'd normally do, but again she's different.
"I'll take you home Billie, but I'm not sure if I can stay with you."
Her face drops it's that look again.
"No, no baby. Shit. I really want to stay with you, but as you say we need to take our time. I mean, if I stay with you I'll just want to touch you and then I'll want to make you officially mine. Well, I really want to do that, but I need you to trust me, first. You need to trust me, and know that I'm it too."
She's shaking her head while looking slightly panicked telling me no.