TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND CHARACTER DEATH
"It's your fault."
Shikamaru didn't know where he was. The world around him was all black. Nothing else living except for the voice he heard. It sounded familiar, but the Nara just couldn't tell how. It was distorted, almost.
My fault?
"Yes, your fault."
I didn't say that out loud, did I? What's going on?
"Don't tell me you forgot about your own sensei."
Suddenly, the voice sounded familiar. It was Asuma. But no, that couldn't be right. Asuma was dead.
"I'm not surprised you forgot. Do you even care?"
"Yes, I care!" Shikamaru brung himself to say something that required him to open his mouth, and as he did, he heard another voice saying his name, but it didn't make the old voice any quieter.
"LIAR!" Asuma's voice screamed. It made Shikamaru jump. Since when was he so sensitive? He almost felt tears.
"Shikamaru?" The faint voice grew a little louder. Shikamaru could slightly tell who it was. He just needed to-
"YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ALIVE AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!" His sensei's voice yelled again.
Shikamaru was shaking now. He was confused and scared and he couldn't breathe. Then suddenly, he felt a hand on him, and he snapped his eyes open. He wasn't in the void anymore. He was in Neji's bed.
"Shikamaru... I'm right here.. no need to fear, love."
Shikamaru felt himself being brung into Neji's arms. He felt relieved, then he felt himself tear up. Neji only called him love when he was worried about something. Well, of course he was worried. His boyfriend just had a nightmare that just from watching, looked terrifying.
"It's ok to cry now... I won't judge you... you'll feel better if you do..."
Neji's voice sounded soft. The Nara felt comforted, but a tear suddenly rolled down his cheek. He barely even noticed it at first, but suddenly his thoughts filled with what Asuma's voice said.
You don't deserve to be alive.
It was just a nightmare but he knew the voice was right. He did deserve to die. He should've just killed himself!
"Don't think things like that, now... I don't know what I would do without you..." Neji whispered, his voice sprinkled with worry.
He said that out loud? Fuck!
"But-" Shikamaru tried to argue but the other stopped him.
"No buts. It wasn't your fault. You hear me? So you don't have to be punished for it!" The Hyuga raised his voice. "I love you so much, Shika. I can't lose you over a nightmare."
His boyfriend was shocked. He'd never heard him like that before. Neji was scared, and Shikamaru suddenly realized how much the other cared for him.
"Shikamaru. Promise me you'll never do that."
The younger male gazed into his lover's eyes. It calmed him and he nodded.
"I promise I'll stay alive. I'll never leave you."
"And I won't leave you, Shikamaru. Never. That's a promise."
