Will you ever learn?

6

Carina

Two weeks. Two weeks have passed since Maya's fall in the shower. Two weeks since Maya met Taylor. And three weeks since Charlotte started living with us.

In the last two weeks, I've been spending more and more time with Taylor, so the two of us have become pretty good friends. Friends that occasionally..Ok, actually every time we meet, have sex. Sex with Taylor is good, but exhausting. Exhausting in the sense that I have to dominate her all the time.

Before I could expand my thoughts further, Maya plopped down on the bed next to me. We still didn't talk about our real problems. Suddenly, one morning, everything was back to normal.

"Keep me busy." Maya groaned as she pressed her face flat on my pillow. I rolled my eyes playfully. "Maya, not now. I'm busy." Immediately her head shot up and she looked at me. "Ah yes? What are you doing?" she asked as she struggled to sit up on her knees. I didn't answer her. "Are you masturbating? Let me see-" she said playfully as she tried, as best she could with two broken arms, to pull the covers off me. "Maya!" I exclaimed laughing and pulling my blanket back to hide my body. "Ohh, Carina, how scandalous." said Maya with a shocked expression. I giggled while shaking my head.

"Nonsense. I'm thinking." I said with a stern look on my face. "Yeah? About what?" In my head, I debated whether I should tell Maya about my worries. "Carina?" she asked cautiously. "Come on, you know you can tell me anything. Anything." she said with so much honesty in her voice that I couldn't help but tell her everything.

"It's about sex." I mumbled uncertainly. "Wow, Doctor Carina DeLuca is ashamed to talk about sex?" laughed Maya, looking at me, but I couldn't bring myself to smile. I've been having these thoughts for weeks, and I finally need to talk to someone about it. "Can we stay serious?" I asked, annoyed. Maya's laughter died down. "Is the sex with Taylor bad?" she asked, now completely serious. "No, sex with Taylor is good. Exhausting, but good," I continued. "Good exhausting-" Maya started, but I interrupted her. "Are you dominant in bed?" I asked, surprising myself with this yet very direct question. Maya's jaw dropped and she just stared at me.

"Ehh- Carina, I, wow...why...what?" stuttered Maya after a short while. She turned bright red. "Yes or no." I asked again. "Come on Maya, how many times have we talked about sex?" I asked impatiently. "Ehh, yes good. Yes I am. So- eh yes, currently rather less because I can do relatively little with my arms, but otherwise I always dominate Charlotte." she said, bright red. I nodded and took another good look at Maya.

She had on gray long sweatpants, which hung right over her black socks. Her tshirt was white, and underneath I could see her bra, which was also gray. On her neck I saw a small vein that stood out vigorously every time something made her uncomfortable. I intertwined my fingers to resist the urge to stroke the vein.

"Why?" asked Maya, snapping me out of my observation. Confused, I looked at her, "Why what?" "Carinaaaaa, you wanted to talk. Please focus." I lowered my head in shame. But she was right. I decided to broach the subject so I should continue.

"So, why do you want to know if I'm domiant?" she clarified. "Do you ever wish Charlotte would dominate you?" I asked without answering her question. "No. We tried it, but-" she stopped mid-sentence. "But what?" I asked curiously, "didn't you come?" "Oh gosh, Carina, yes, of course. But it didn't feel like it usually felt when I was the aggressor. Yes, it was nice, but it's even nicer when I tell Charlotte exactly what to do and have her completely at my mercy. You know?" With a thoughtful expression on my face, I nodded as I registered her words.

"Carina, what's going on?" "The sex with Taylor is..satisfying." "Okay..Carina, what exactly are you trying to tell me?" she probed. "Urghh, I hate dominating her all the time. I hate being in control all the time." I burst out. Astonished, the blonde firefighter looked at me. "What do you mean?" she continued to ask as she placed her fingers on mine. I intertwined our hands. My fingertips lightly touched the blue bandage that clung tightly to her cast.