You're A Trainwreck (And I'll Love You For That)

Morning, Miss Misery

⚠️Warning, this book will contain violence, homophobia, depression, suicidal thoughts and sexual assult⚠️

'Hey, Faggot.' Bert's calloused fingers closed around my neck, picking up my trembling body and slamming me to the cold ground. I felt his bony knee press down onto my back, digging into my silky flesh and making me moan in agony.

'You enjoying this you fucking weirdo?' Bert screamed. 'Are you gonna get a little faggot boner you gay freak?'

I tried to shake my head but he tightened his grip on my neck, laughing as I cried and writhed in pain.

'P-please Bert,' I whimpered, 'please don't hurt me.'

Bert removed his knee from my back and pulled my body up before slamming my head against the concrete floor, taking delight at every one of my feeble attemps to get away. Blood began to seep out from under my hair, my tooth cracked onto the ground. Bert didn't show a single sign of stopping. I opened my eyes to a haze of greys and whites, tears blurring the rest of the world every time my head hit the floor. Bert didn't stop until a car door slammed a few yards away from us, and he finally let me go.

'You're well lucky I didn't fucking kill you, Faggot.'

And he was gone.

************************************

Lindsey's rain-soaked face greeted me the next morning. Her eyes were red and eyeliner had started running down her face, whether it was from the rain or a night of crying, I couldn't tell. As soon as I opened the door, her arms were wrapped around my waist, holding me close to her. 'Gerard- oh Gee, I thought you'd died.'

Lindsey had always been a worrier.
She'd always cry if I got sick, and would shut down completely if I was hospitalised, no matter the reason. It had been this way since we were little. I never really knew why it was like this. Her optimism in everyday seemed to vanish the moment I caught a cold, and suddenly I was gravely ill with every chance in the world of dying. Her mind would not be eased until she'd called my mom everyday for a week to check up on me, and once I'd reached the four day mark and wasn't dead, she'd be okay again.

'Linds I got beat up, nothing too serious.'

'Your head was slammed against the ground twenty-five times. That could kill you.'

It wasn't until we were inside the house with mugs of steaming coffee that Lindsey stopped asking me if I needed a doctor. I really was okay, by some miracle. Lindsey was right, and her fear in this situation was genuine and justified. I could have died, yes, but I didn't.

My house was dark and messy. The bookshelves were unorganised, comics sprawled across the floor and the curtains were hanging limply from the rails. Lindsey took a seat on the couch, which sagged despite her small frame. 'You can't let this happen Gee,' She started, 'I hate seeing you hurt.'

'I hate it too, but there's not much a nobody like me can do.'

'Don't call yourself that! You know very well that it's untrue.'

'And you know very well that not one person on this planet with a sane mind would be friends with me!'

'You're really calling me insane?'

Lindsey smiled, but I got the idea my comment hurt her. Maybe calling your only friend insane won't help you.

'Well, no. But you've known me for years. You have to like me!'

'I don't have to do anything Gerard Way. And you know it.'

Lindsey stood up and walked dramatically out the room, her hands thrown into the air, her coffee discarded at her feet.

This was another trait of hers that I just had to deal with. Her drama and untamed nature made it very difficult to perform normal human contact with,  but as a faggot with no other choice, I was in no position to let her go.

It was five minutes before Lindsey crawled back into the room. She looked much more relaxed now her outburst had been let out, and she was able to sit down with me and talk again.

'So, we need a plan.' She said. 'We need a good one.'

'A plan for what?' I sighed, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed.

'To stop Bert from beating the living shit outta you.'

'Nothing is gonna work.' I said with a tone of finality. Bert would not change. Not one little bit.

'But he COULD change, and you MIGHT get accepted for once.'

'Not without becoming straight.'

'Then you should become straight. You should date me.'

'Lindsey, I'm gay. I'm a fag. I don't like tits, I like dick.'

'No, you don't have to like me, like me. Just tell McCracken you're fucking me in your spare time. Or you hold my had at school and kiss me in the form-room.'

'We're not in the same form Linds. That won't work. And why the fuck would I kiss you?'

'Cause I'm hot as fuck and it'll save your ass from The Cracken.'

'Still doesn't change the fact we're in separate forms.'

'I got an idea.'

So Lindsey got up, collected her bag, and strode out of the door. I rolled my eyes and sunk back down into the couch, holding my mug of cold coffee.