"It's a dark and desolate night in New York City... but for Moon Knight, that's how all nights are. Cold and alone. Shadowy and dreary. But will that distill the noble hero of the night? No. It never has, so why should he start feeling sorry for himself no-"
"Are you narrating again?"
A voice on a radio piped up.
Moon knight touched a communicator on his ear.
"N-No! shut up ,DuChamp!"
Moon knight was perched atop a roof which was looking down at a building with a few dim lights lit within it.
"Listen Marc, you know what the mission is, so can you just like, do it WITHOUT making a scene?"
Jean-Paul DuChamp said through the communicator as he let out an audible sigh
Moon knight narrowed his eyes.
"Last time I checked, YOU weren't the one whose ketamine stash was stolen."
"I'm also not the one who tried selling said ketamine to Magneto."
The voice through the radio replied.
Moon knight nodded thoughtfully.
"Fair point, but in my defense, Magnus DID look tempted for a second."
"You EXPLODED an ORPHANAGE when one of the kids called you white Batman!"
Jean-Paul yelled.
"OK LISTEN-"
Moon knight stopped himself and took a breathe.
"....let's just say that we've ALL made mistakes."
A disappointed silence came from the other side of the radio. Moon knight couldn't see Jean-Paul, but he knew that his partner was shaking his head disapprovingly.
The silence between the two extended for an uncomfortable amount of time. eventually Moon Knight just jumped off the roof and finally broke the silence.
"Vengeance!"
Moon Knight crashed through one of the windows of the warehouse and landed in front of a group of men who were loading a truck with bags filled with ketamine crystals.
"Ok ,you basement dwelling Wrecking crew wannabes, WHERE'S MY FUCKING KETAMINE?!"
The group of men looked at Moon Knight. They all stayed quiet for a bit before one eventually spoke up.
"who the hell are you."
Moon Knight's eye twitched as he unhinged one of his crescent moons from his chest.
"First you stole my drugs and now you DONT EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?!"
All the men shrugged and looked at each other
"I have never felt such disrespect before."
Moon knight sighed
"Welp, you're all going to die anyways so I guess it doesn't matter."
"Wait wha-"
One of the men said but was cut off.
"In the name of tax fraud!"
Moon Knight lunged forward at one of the criminals without warning
"Dammit! I knew we shouldn'tve smuggled drugs from Transylvania!"
One of the men yelled
~~ one fight scene later ~~
Moon Knight turned to the last criminal and suddenly pulled out a glock from his belt.
"Holy sh- Since when did super hero vigilantes use guns?!"
The man suddenly stuck his hands in the air.
"I mean... it's a gun. It works better than a fucking sword or some shit. Why, did you expect me to use a baton?"
Moon Knight started snickering to himself.
" Can you imagine a fucking loser who would have a BATON as a weapon? He'd probably be a lawyer or some stupid shit like that too!"
The criminal looked at Moon Knight and blinked.
"You mean Daredevil..?"
Moon Knight immediately stopped laughing and glared down at the man.
"We don't talk about that ketchup and mustard looking fuck around here."
The man gulped and sputtered out nervously,
"I-I'm pretty sure his suit looks different now... Like, I-I think it's just red now... n-no yellow.."
Moon Knight crossed his arms and huffed.
"So what? That bastard still owes me money."
"Jesus, how many people owe you money."
The criminal said.
"Moon Knight's business is Moon Knight's business."
Moon Knight snapped
Suddenly the gun in Moon knight's hands went off
BANG
"Oops.."
Jean-Paul bust open the warehouse door.
"Moony!"
"Frenchie?"
Moon Knight whipped around and looked at his friend nervously.
"Moon- HOLY FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING SHOOT THAT GUY?!"
Jean-Paul pointed at the dead body next to Moon Knight.
Moon Knight glanced down at the glock in his hands and back up at Jean-Paul
"..."
"Yes."
Jean-Paul's shock slowly faded as he simply crossed his arms.
"Damn, that's cold ,man. But I guess you have a reputation to uphold."
Moon Knight started sweating nervously.
"Y-yes... I shot him because I'm a cool badass guy and definitely not because my finger slipped."
Jean-Paul nodded and began opening up a contacts list on an old flip-phone
"Anyways we should- what are you doing?"
Moon Knight looked back as he was looming over the corpse that he had just made.
"Stealing a dead guy's wallet."
"Dude, that's a very not ok thing to do."
Jean-Paul looked at Moon Knight judgmentally
Moon Knight waved his hand and rolled his eyes carelessly.
"Pft! What's he going to do with it now that he's dead? If you think of it, I'm HELPING him by using his money that would otherwise just sit there in his wallet forever!"
Jean-Paul had a dead expression on his face
"How are you not arrested yet?"
Moon Knight shrugged casually.
"I have no idea because I commit tax fraud regularly- anyways have you heard that Mjölnir is made of moon rock? Do you think i could lift it?"
Jean-Paul rubbed his throbbing forehead.
"Marc-"
"I'm Jake."
Moon Knight interjected
"That... actually makes a lot of sense."
Jean-Paul said bluntly.
Moon Knight either didn't hear or was ignoring what his partner had just said as he kept digging through the wallet.
"Hey look! The dead guy has a Toys-R-Us coupon! Heh, what a loser. That place died ages ago."
Jean-Paul sighed
".... Why are you like this?"
Moon Knight shrugged once more.
"Ask Dracula."
"What does that even mean."
Jean-Paul proceeded to rub his forehead harder.
Moon Knight narrowed his eyes and glared into the distance.
"That bastard knows what he did."
"Does he?"
Jean-Paul crossed his arms
Moon Knight kept his intense expression and tone of voice.
"He better fucking know."
"Do YOU know?"
Jean-Paul looked at Moon Knight doubtfully
"It's a long story, but basically Dracula owes me my goddamn money."
Moon Knight awkwardly avoided eye contact.
"Anyways, why don't we get back on track here, Frenchie."
"Right, so did you get a lead on who's selling your stolen ketamine?"
Jean-Paul asked skeptically.
"Yes actually. I did."
Moon Knight stood up and brushed himself off.
"Apparently the thief who's dealing my ketamine is in Transylvania."
...
"OH SHIT IT'S DRACULA ISNT IT"
YOU ARE READING
Moon Knight And the Quest for Ketamine
FanfictionDracula won't give Moon Knight his damn money, and now he stole the one thing that Marc and Jake love more than money. Illegal drugs (Steven disapproves, but the the other two won't let him have a say in this quest.)
