🇵‌🇺‌🇷‌🇪‌ 🇼‌🇦‌🇹‌🇪‌🇷‌ | Shenhe x Reader

6

"Feel anything?" Shenhe questioned as she watched you hold the book in your hands. It was a history book from Fontaine that she hoped might provide some more insight as to when you'd been alive.

Frowning, you shook your head before putting the book down.

"No, sorry." She sighed but nodded and took it back, tucking it into her backpack as she stood from where she had been kneeling next to you.

"That's alright, we'll keep trying." Gathering the other items she'd brought today, you watched her pack everything up, preparing to leave.

Having spent the last couple of weeks together, the two of you had fallen into a sort of routine. She would show up around midday with some things to try to jog your memory and would stay for a few hours. Usually, the items failed to help and she would leave in the evening time before coming back the next day.

Even though you could tell she was becoming frustrated, and you felt the same, you still treasured the time she spent with you. The urge to ask her to stay longer was always there, and yet you never did.

Maybe it was because you didn't think she felt the same way about you that you were beginning to about her, or maybe it was because you were afraid she did. After all, the two of you shared the common goal of regaining your memories. As soon as that happened, you would then be moving on to the afterlife, or at least, that was the idea. Your relationship was merely temporary, and you both knew better than to treat it like it wasn't.

Still, you longed for her to stay just a little while longer, hoped for her to spend the whole night next to the lake where you two could chat. Although she had seemed distant at first, you found that she actually made great conversation.

She was your only connection to mortal life, assuming you had in fact been a mortal when you were alive. With her, it felt like you were in touch with the world around you, with life itself. Death was such a funny thing once you'd lived through it.

It was all you knew at this point, and yet she made you feel so different. You couldn't put your finger on what the feeling was.

"Shenhe, what is life like for you?" You blurted out as the white-haired woman was about to turn and leave. She blinked a few times, processing your sudden words after the prolonged silence of the last few minutes.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't remember being alive," you explained, trying your best to articulate your thoughts, "but I was wondering what it's like? How does it feel? What do you do?" She looked down at her hands without saying anything.

"Oh, but you don't have to answer that if you don't want to!" You continued quickly, worried you might have upset her, "I was just curious."

"No, it's alright." She replied with a reassuring look, taking a seat on a rock by the water. "I'm just not sure how to answer that." You nodded in understanding, kneeling down to sit on the lake's surface.

"Unlike most humans, my soul is bound by red ropes, and I do not feel a lot of emotion." You watched her carefully, not wanting to press her to talk about something that was clearly painful. "When I was a child, my father sacrificed me to an evil god, hoping to bring my mother back."

"Shenhe, I'm so sorry..." You whispered.

"Eventually, I was saved by the adepti," she continued, "but I became very violent. To combat this, Cloud Retainer bound red ropes around my soul. I can't feel much of anything."

"I see," you sighed, "I had no idea."

"It's alright," Shenhe assured you with her tiny smile, "eventually, I met the traveler, and they helped me integrate into human society."