Forced into it

Chapter 4

I sat up in my bed as I leaned my head against my headboard, still trying waking up. I yawned and stretched before grabbing my phone. Fuck it's almost twelve thirty.

I push the sheets away from my body and get out of bed then making my way towards my bathroom.

How I've managed to sleep this late I've no idea, I normally wake up before eleven at least.

I have been really tired the past few days. A lot has been going on I suppose. I honestly could just collapse to the floor and sleep even after at least nine hours of sleep. I better not have to do anything today or I swear I'll cry.

No arguments between Diego would be nice too. We've been bickering a lot lately. Nothing serious or over big things, just small silly things.

They're quite funny if I'm honest, he gets offended easily which makes it even funnier. Or it's about his mixed signals. Like when one minute he's ignoring me and the next he's making me breakfast.

I don't even know how to feel about him, in a way I like him I guess. He's kind and caring when he wants to be. But a part of me also still feels hate and resentment towards him for the past things he's done and how he made me feel. Alone, isolated, uncared for are some examples. If I were to drop dead he would never notice.

I tried everything despite me not wanting to, he acts like I wanted to marry him. I definitely didn't. I had a life, friends, a boyfriend in Chicago. And I loved it there, before I was dragged half way across the U.S to marry him for some debt to be payed.

It's a sick joke.

And that went on for months, I have never felt that miserable in so long. And after all that hassle to avoid me and make sure he didn't form any kind of feelings towards me, I find out he was sleeping with my 'friend'. Asshole.

And my mom told me over and over, "Give him time, Maria." "It's a big change,Maria." "I know it's hard but you will get a long soon and love each other like your father and I."

Like it wasn't a big change for me too.

And as much as I love my parents, I'll never forgive them for making me marry someone I didn't love. It's not fair, I was forced into it. I was robbed of finding someone who would actually love me. A wedding to someone that would actually love me.

Not much I can do now though, right? I mean I could fake my death, change my identity and move across the world? To somewhere like, England or Scotland, or even go back to where I'm actually from. I've not been to Spain in years. It's tempting if I'm honest.

But I think that would be cruel to do to my parents. I think if I died they would never recover. I remember when I was a kid I got lost in a mall and my dad lost it and almost killed soma bunch of people because he was panicking so much.. I luckily found him before he could do anything. I've never seen him so worried, he looked like he wanted cry when he saw me. I've never seen him cry, I'm not sure anyone has.

I guess it's seen as 'weak' and 'vulnerable' in men. In women too. It's so stupid.

I pulled my favourite pair of grey joggers over my hips and adjusted the waistband before adjusting the waist before I grabbed a white low neck crop top from my wardrobe and slipped my arms in before pulling it over my head and down my torso, making my way towards my bedroom door.

I went down the stairs and past the living room into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and briefly scanned over everything but nothing caught my eye. A sigh escaped my mouth as I shut the fridge and sauntered over to the cupboards.

Scanning over everything once again, I looked carefully at everything before I grabbed the bread and decided on toast.

I took two slices of bread from the packet and stuck it in the toaster before going back to the fridge.