Perception

Untitled Part 14

Screaming. I hear screaming, and groans. Crying. So much pain. So much fear. Agony.  All I can think of is helping the hurt people...no, children, but I can't. I'm chained to a wall in front of an enormous window without any slack in the cuffs holding my wrists and ankles.

I gasp as I sit up straight. Looking around I see that it's still dark out, and I'm on the bed between Kota, and Nathan, but they did not wake when I did. Slithering out of the bed without jostling them, I go in search of North. It would be silly to tell him of my dream by calling him when he's just in the other room.

Tiptoeing through the filled pallets throughout the living room, I spot him on the floor in front of the couch. I kneel between him and Silas and lean in close.

"North," I say under my breath. I run my fingers through his dark hair, "North, I need you," I whisper so close to his ear my lips brush his lobe.

"Baby," murmurs North as his arm snakes out and pulls me to him. I end up under his blanket and laying with my mouth against his neck. Pulling back, I see that he has his eyes are cracked open to look down at me.

"What's the matter, baby?" he whispers almost silently.

"I had a dream," I mutter under my breath knowing that he'll hear me. Of all of my guys, he seems to hear almost as well as I do, maybe even better. I tell him everything I remember. "All of these children with no hope, and Mia, Paula, and Mateo were there. I couldn't get to them. They were so much worse. Bloody. Broken," I finish on an almost silent sob.

"Baby, I know you're feeling helpless. There are a lot of people out there that need help, that have no one to look out for them. Mia, Mateo, and Paula brought that front and center to your mind. You're playing games of 'what if?' right now and it isn't helpful or healthy. We do what we can, when we can. I know you want to help everyone. Seeing those helpless children abused like that, taken from their homes and families? Well, that's enough to make anyone feel helpless. The kids being adopted before you feel like their situations are resolved? That has to set off all kinds of anxiety. Baby, you know the Academy found them the best family that they could hope for—and that's saying a lot. No one is keeping you from them, or them from you, but they have to be able to move past this. They need to heal, just as we all needed to heal. Sometimes our rescuers can be reminders of times we'd rather move past. Don't worry, baby. Those kids adore you, and who wouldn't? Just give it a little time. You'll see. The Academy will continue to help those it can, as it can, as long as those in need are willing to be helped," he whispers in the longest-winded response he has ever given me. I adore him for stepping outside himself to give me some peace of mind.

"Thank you, North. I know you're right. I just hate feeling so helpless," I respond. He pulls me to his chest and strokes my hair until my muscles relax. His breathing evens out, and I know he fell back to sleep.

I lay there for what felt like hours, but was probably only 20 minutes or so before I got too antsy to lay still any longer. I slowly slide back out of North's grip without disturbing his blanket, or letting the cooler air in.

The guys were so wonderful in keeping me distracted that I decide to do something for them in return. The sun is finally over the horizon, so I know that at least some of the boys will be waking up soon. Walking to the kitchen I plan a breakfast menu. Nathan had stocked up on breakfast foods in anticipation of a gathering of hungry breakfast eaters. I roll my eyes thinking of North's reaction to the chocolate Nathan and I hid in a newly-constructed false bottom in the cabinet. I quietly peek left and right across the kitchen letting my eyes twitch around suspiciously. The Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head as I creep to the cabinet and open the door. Another furtive glance around, and I've retrieved the packet of chocolatey goodness. I quickly prepare the pancake batter, then carefully place the griddle on the stove top to heat it up for the bacon. I turn on the electric griddle that Luke insisted we buy so that I can make pancakes and bacon at the same time in larger quantities.

I spy my iPod mini and headphones next to the microwave, and decide to listen to some music just to help cheer me up after too little sleep, and too many emotional triggers from my dream. I settle on my oldies soundtrack and really get to work.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find out what it means to me; R-E-S-P-E-C-T, take care TCB;  OH, sock it to me, sock it to me, so it to me....I'm doing a little jig with a spatula in one hand and the tongs in the other. I spin, and it takes me a moment to register I wasn't the only one awake anymore. Gabriel, North, Luke, and...*gulp*...Mr. Blackbourne are all standing in the entrance to the kitchen. I know I'm blushing with them catching me dancing, but I'm so happy to see my guys looking so well-rested, and...handsome that I start to smile.

It is only when the corners of my mouth start to turn up that I realize my lips were already busy belting out the lyrics of "Respect". I feel my cheeks go from pink to lobster instantly as I pinch my mouth shut.

"Good morning, Miss Sorenson," Mr. Blackbourne says with a slight wobble in his voice.