Sam & Ellie The Fall Before Spring

Part 7

Tired of being cooped up in an apartment that was no longer her home without him, she went for a walk. She thought of their love, their pain, their loss, their life. A beautiful life but one full of sacrifices and wrong decisions. Walking kept her grounded in the world. It helped her to keep from drifting off into the oblivion of the happily ever afters for her and Sam. A life where they would get married on the bridge.

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"Ellie," Sam began, facing her, something in his eyes she had never seen before.

"Yes," she answered.

"I know I haven't made things easy for you and I'm sorry."

"Sa-" he placed his finger on her lips and continued.

"But I love you and I know that I'll love you for the rest of my life," he knelt and pulled out a box. She stifled a gasp as a crowd gathered around them to watch. "If you take this ring, I will be better for you. Every day. I already know I love you but this is my promise so you'll know every time you look at this ring. Even when things get hard, know that I love and will always love you more than my own life."

"Yes," she exclaimed, tears running down her face. The crowd clapped and whooped as he stood, scooped her in his arms and kissed her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She thought of the life where they'd buy a house together, have another baby together, raise their children and visit their grandchildren as they greyed and wrinkled and grew old together. It was hard to accept that they'd end here. Maybe she'd accept it completely one day. But for now, all she needed to accept was that she couldn't stay. Either way, if he didn't come back soon she'd be gone. Either an empty shell of herself or in another state. She knew Vanessa preferred the latter. Her father would've preferred the latter as well.

She stayed at that bridge for a while. Watching the water flow beneath it, beautiful as it reflected the orange and pink hues of the sunset. She let the dreams of her future drift off with the sun and when it began to fade and eventually set she knew she needed to go home. With heavy feet, she turned and left. Leaving her dreams behind her.

When she returned, her traitorous heart leapt at the sight of police cars. She tried to steady herself as she made her way up the steps to face Sam. Excitement bubbled inside her, along with shame but she would get to hold him one more, see his face and his crooked smile, and remember what her home smelled like. They had brought him home to her many times but she ignored the sadness at the thought of walking away. She didn't have to. He came home and she was still there. Incomplete but not for long. Ignoring the promise to Vanessa and the finality of her realizations and thoughts at the bridge she let herself be happy that she would see him.

With quick steps, she all but ran to the door. Wrenching it open with an eager smile, ready to bound into Sam's secure arms. But when she opened the door, she saw two cops, no Sam. She looked around for him but he wasn't there. Grim faces greeted her and she refused to recognize what they meant. What she had known somehow the moment Sam had left. She wouldn't, couldn't believe that it was true. Not until they said the words.

"Where's Sam?" She asked rather childishly.

"Ellie," Vanessa began.

"No," Ellie turned to Liam, a policeman she was familiar with.

Liam shook his head gently. She searched the room for any sign that they were wrong but she found nothing.

"We're very sorry Ellie, we found him under the bridge, by the river."

"Our bridge," she gasped her hand flying to her mouth. "No. I was just there."

Liam rested his hand on her shoulder, "I'm so very sorry for your loss."