My hands are shaking. My hearts racing. I can't even breathe. Each inhale is more painful than the last. Everyone is on my case and I can't take it. I'm ending it. I started my letter:
I'm sorry mom. I know you wanted me to be your little boy forever, but the world has turned me cold. It's not your fault, you protected me as much as you could.
I'm sorry sister. You were the best anyone could ask for. You were there in my darkest hour. You cared and I knew it, but you were one of the few who actually cared.
I'm sorry brother. Keep going on with your football. You're the best the team has. I'm proud to call you the same blood. Keep the family together, and don't let me be a setback.
I'm sorry dad. I'm not the star athlete you wanted. I wasn't the smartest or the best looking either. You deserved me than me, and I love.
All of you deserve better than me. I don't want to be an anchor anymore, so I'm cutting myself loose. I love you all, I LOVE YOU!
My tears fell on the page as I finished writing it. I wanted just someone to tell me it wasn't worth it. Maybe I should have confessed my pain? It didn't matter anymore, these were my last minutes on Earth. Whether there is a heaven or not, I don't know, the same can be said for hell. All I hoped for is it to be better than the torment I faced on Earth.
After swallowing the bottle of pills, I started to freak out. Did I really want to die, or was I just tired of everything. I screamed for help, but no one heard. As I started to go numb, I heard the front door open and I released on last scream. The last thing I saw were the horror in my family's eyes as I collapsed to the ground. Their voices all blurred and everything went black.
I'm sorr....
