Idol

The end, the beginning

Been more than a year since I wrote this (cringey) book. It was my first book and I was around twelve. Which basically explains why the book has so many grammatical errors.

But my writing improved a bit in the following year. Thanks to @Dispute_queen

The ending made me feel unsatisfied, and so anxious because just the topic of cheating in relationships and stuff gives me a panic attack. So, here I am.

This is an alternative ending, the one I really wanted. PS- I'm pistanthrophobic.

Let's just pretend that Jungkook took you both to the house you shared. Puppy stayed with Hoseok because of love at first sight. And Yami never betrayed him or had another boyfriend.

-

"Did you file for a divorce yet?" Jungkook asked as you just walked to the living room and placed your bag near the coffee table.

"Get to the point," you said, turning around to face him.

"I broke up with Yami," he let out and you blinked your eyes for a moment before tilting your head to the side.

When on this planet did that happen?

"Why?" You asked in a tone that he couldn't decipher.

"People change," he shrugged, hands in his pockets as he looked into your eyes.

"Yeah, and love fades," you said, staring at him before shaking your head. "You said you love her, but married me. When I knew about Yami, I told that we could stop the wedding, then about divorce, and you said that you didn't want to disappoint my father. All the times I tried to end all this, you stopped me for the sake of the man who brought you up. And here you are, saying that you broke up with the girl you loved till this morning."

"What if she had cheated on me?" Jungkook asked, poking his tongue against his inner cheek.

"You married me when you were in love with her, didn't you?" You asked back. "You left her for 'me' as you try to word it. How can I believe that you won't do the same to me too?"

There's no use in trying to reason with an emotional manipulator. You say something and it will be turned around.

And, as a matter of fact, you know that Yami would never cheat him or anyone.

"Look, I really don't care why or what you were thinking when you did that. And for reducing this to the words you just said. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with this, anyway? Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he'd gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. This isn't about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives, Jungkook. Most importantly, Yami's. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something you both had."

Not waiting to stare any longer at his bewildered face, you walked upstairs, to your bedroom, and started packing everything that you owned. Yes, if you bought it, he can't have it.

You were leaving this place, once and for all.

You couldn't settle for a relationship that'd let neither of you be yourselves.

And so you ignored everything Jungkook said, his confession, saying how you'll never find someone like him, his profanities following as you walked down the stairs with your packed bags. "This place is yours. So I'm leaving."

"And where will you go?"

"Seeing that I'm the country's richest person, and I own companies around the world and thirteen gated communities, probably to one of them," you muttered, grabbing your other bag that you had earlier left near the coffee table. "I'm not going to set myself on fire to keep you warm, Jungkook."

This relationship was like holding a cactus plant in your hand. You are bleeding and cursing the cactus but not letting go of it. Cactus is not hurting you. Your own attachment with the cactus is hurting you.

Thinking that you can change a guy, that he'll be different with you, that you'll finally be the one to be with him. This is not what you want.

"A divorce is too tragic for all this," Jungkook muttered, looking into your eyes.

"A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love," you said back. "Nobody ever died of divorce."

"Don't you think that you're being too much?" He scoffed while you walked to the front door, ready to leave with your packed bags as you answered monotonously.

"If I'm too much for you, then go and find something less."

A few months later~

How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table. How much better to sit by yourself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. Letting you sit here forever with bare things, this iced coffee, this knife, this fork, this chocolate pie, things in themselves, yourself being yourself.

"Sorry, but you owe me a drink," the slightly familiar voice said, taking the seat in front of you.

"Why?" You asked, finally looking away from the cafe's glass wall.

"I dropped mine when I looked at you."

"So cheesy," you mumbled, shaking your head as the waiter took down your orders again, another iced coffee and a giant chococino with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, caramel and sprinkles.

(A/n: Final Destination!)

"Is there a reason why you wanted to meet me after all these months?" You asked, taking another bite from the chocolate pie you had ordered earlier.

"Looks like we're finally smiling for ourselves again."

"No hard feelings, Yami," you said, looking at her. "We both saw the end as it began."

"Well, isn't this the second time we're meeting?" She asked, thanking the waiter as he served you your order before leaving.

"First being on the 'wedding' day when he introduced you to me," you added, sipping the iced coffee. "You just looked like you wanted to break up with him right away when he said that he was marrying me."

"And you just looked like you wanted to divorce him right away," Yami said back, making you laugh a little. "Divorce proceedings' still going on, huh?"

"Yeah, but my lawyer said that I might be able to get it done in, like, another month," you shrugged. "She's the Devil's Advocate after all."

And, well, Puppy? He fell in love with Hoseok's aegyo and is refusing to live with you. He lets you visit him though. Given that you're his foster mother.

"Are we okay now?" The woman sitting in front of you asked as she placed her coffee cup on the table.

"Are we ever okay?" You asked back, making her sigh as she played aimlessly with the drinking straw that was immersed inside the giant chococino with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, caramel and sprinkles. "He told me that I'll never find someone like him," you started again, staring at the busy road.

"Baby, that's the whole point. We'll never find someone like him," she replied.

Once again, you both sit silently and watch the world around you. This has taken half a lifetime to learn. It seems like only you both are able to sit next to one another, not say anything and still feel content.

Their silence was enough for them. They could communicate better in silence.

And seeing her sitting there unresponsive makes you realize that silence has a sound.

"Yami," you called and she hummed in response, looking at you. "Do you believe in love at second sight?"

Sometimes, a new beginning is even better than a happy ending.