➳ battleground of the gods // l.s.

XVII: blaming yourself

    Louis woke up with a hard pounding in his head, causing him to not know the planet he was on. It hurt so bad.

    He got up from his bed, his head still pounding with a sharp pain inflicting in his temples before he made his way toward his bathroom. The sight in the mirror startled him. He looked terrible.

    Louis stared at his own reflection in the mirror, his blue eyes scrutinizing every detail of his expression. It looked worn out, tired, exhausted. He had big eye bags under his puffy, glossy eyes that held a gray colour to them. They looked lifeless, as did he.

    He sighed devastated as he turned the water on to splash some on his face. He spent his night contemplating the conversation he had with Harry. Why did he act so cold?

    It seemed to him like his pain had not dimmed in the slightest, instead, it only became stronger. He could feel the rust from the bullet devouring his skin from the inside, but he knew it was just his imagination.

Hopefully he'll be assigned some tasks today, he just wanted to take his mind off things a bit. He wasn't in the best place he could be mentally, nor with Harry.

" No, Louis, you won't be allowed to make any effort today. Your wound needs to heal properly. " Liam told him off, shooing him away as he was concentrated in his laboratory.

Louis only clenched his jaw in response, vexation bubbling up in his system. He wanted to bite back, but he knew Liam was right. And he was one stubborn fella, there's no way of convincing that one.

When his mind calmed down in the slightest, he started wondering when will he be a member of the Bolt council. That has been a dream since he was younger. To be fair, he hasn't thought a lot about it lately, his mind being occupied by the Harry and Yves drama surrounding him. It was hard to even think about something else. But now that the waters calmed a bit, his heart became excited as the thought crossed his mind. But will I ever get to be a member? After all that's happened? Surely going behind your leader's back isn't something that advantages you. His heart dropped in his stomach at the thought.

" Louis, I wanted to talk to you. " Carnell's voice rung in his ear as he glazed into oblivion, his mind flooded by these anxious thoughts.

Speak of the devil.

Louis' head snapped towards his leader, his blue eyes widened questionably, but he stayed silent as he waited for the continuation.

" You've probably been wondering about your place in the council. " Louis nodded silently, his heart rate rising at the suspense. " I would've loved for you to be part of the council, but you must know that I need your full loyalty and I need to be a hundred percent sure that you're by my side. I can't risk having members sneak behind my back and ignore my orders, even if it's a good cause. I'm leader for a reason and I need everybody safe and sound here." And that was it for Louis. He felt his heart drop in his stomach, almost fainting. He suspected this, but when he hears his leader say it out loud it's like reality hit him.

Louis stood silent, the dread gnawing him from the inside. He couldn't find the words to reply, he's so heartbroken. He could barely find the air to breathe.

" You understand that, don't you? " He felt Carnell pat his back sympathetically. I don't need anyone's pity. Louis frowned to himself as he glanced at his leader.

" I do. Thanks for letting me know. " He finally let out, pushing back the hard lump in his throat.

Carnell shot him a tiny smile. " No hard feelings. "