Moving Fast - WinterSpider AU

Chapter 6 - Confessions

The following morning

Bucky pov

I'll talk to him tonight. Tonight. When he's not hungover and I'm not as fucked up about my nightmare.

Peter pov

I can feel Bucky glaring at me. I can tell he hates me.

I don't blame him.

I mean, would anyone? After what I said to him? Even in my drunken state, I regretted it the second it left my mouth.

At one point during the day, I walk in on Bucky training. He's not wearing a shirt, and sweat is practically pouring off his defined body. But HOLY SHIT, is that a beautiful bod.

Dammit

I'm definitely not straight.

There are also scars tracing along his back... But I don't notice them.

"Fuck it," I mutter. I walk over next to him.

"Bucky..." I start. Bucky sighs.

"Look. We'll get this over a lot faster if you just tell me why you're pissed off."

I freeze.

Oh fuck.

"Okay fine. Don't tell me," Bucky snaps, unwrapping his right hand. I sigh.

"Look, you've just been pissed off with me all day." Bucky says. I look at him confused.

"I wasn't pissed. I mean, I was yesterday, but today? No, I feel guilty."

"Then why did you ignore me all day?" Bucky asks.

"Ignore you? You were glaring at me the whole day!" I say back angrily. Our voices are increasing in volume.

Honestly, I'm not even sure why I'm mad at him.

"Oh yes! Because I wouldn't be a bit upset after what you said to me last night!" He says, rolling his eyes.

"Why does it matter so much?! You brush off so many insults! How come when I accidentally say one, it's the end of the world!" I exclaim, waving my hands through the air.

That's when it happens

Bucky flinches and his eyes glaze over. I look at him in confusion.

"What is-" I look at my hand. Gasping, I bring my hand away.

"Oh god, I'm sorry Bucky," I say. I want to hug Bucky. His eyes are unfocused.

"Can I hug you?" I ask. His eyes zero in on me, and return to their usual colour.

"Okay," he says numbly. I hug him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been such a lousy friend recently. I'm so sorry. You are Bucky Barnes. You're the white wolf. You were not, are not, and never will be, the winter soldier. Your time in hydra doesn't make you a monster. It shows how strong you are. How strong you are to push through this. I'm just a terrible person..." I trail off.

"No." Bucky says. I look at him, confused.

"You're Peter Parker. You are Spiderman. You are an amazing friend. And... I was hoping, you could maybe be my boyfriend?" Bucky asks, his Brooklyn accent slipping through.

"Of course," I smile. He grins at me and our lips meet.

-
Meanwhile

Clint cheers.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen," he says, taking the 20 bucks from Sam's hand, "is how you make 20 bucks!"
Tony is staring at the security footage in shock.

"BARNES!" He yells.

Back in the gym...

"Peter... What did I say that upset you?" Bucky asks. I bite my bottom lip.

"You're going to think it's dumb."
"Nonsense Pete, nothing you say is dumb. Okay, most of the things you say aren't dumb." He grins.

"It's just... I thought we had something... And then I heard you tell Tony that we were just... Friends... I don't even know what happened. I'm sorry." I groan. Bucky sighs.
"It's okay. I was just trying to cover myself from Tony. He was- is- going to kill me."

-

Bucky wakes up in a cold sweat. I gently cradle him as he sobs into my shoulder.

"It's okay Baby," I murmur.

"No it's not. I'm a monster." He manages to get out. I shake my head.

"You are not a monster. Hydra are the monsters." I say firmly.

"You sure about that?" He laughs bitterly, rolling up his right sleeve and shorts. I gasp at the many scars... Not just inflicted by hydra. I somehow hadn't noticed them in the lighting in the gym.

"Scissors," he whispers, touching a few specific scars. I tear up and hug him. Now, we're both sobbing into each other's arms.

"Bucky... I have to be honest with you. The reason why I didn't celebrate my 21st birthday... It's because... Aunt May died that day. And it was all my fault," I gasp. I tell Bucky the whole story. I turn away from him, ashamed.

"It's all my fault," I whisper.

"No it's not. It's not your fault." Bucky says.