Moving Fast - WinterSpider AU

Chapter 7 - The reason why

Peter pov

I don't know why. Me and Bucky have been together for months now... And everytime I get a bit too intimate... He pulls away.

Right now, me and him are on my bed, kissing. He nibble on my lip, extracting an elicit moan from me. I begin to get a little suggestive with my hands, but not too pushing.

Bucky jumps off me gasping, and then runs out of the room. I frown. He's never run out of the room before. I sigh, running my hands over my face.

I get up from the bed and go in front of his room. I knock on the door.

"Bucky? Can I come in?" I ask gently. I get no response. I frown again. That's when I hear a loud crash. I open the door and sprint into the room.

"Bucky?! Are you okay?!" I call out. I think the noise came from his bathroom. I sprint in there and see him. He's pressed up as far into the corner as possible, and he's hyperventilating. A little tear escapes his eyes. I get down on the floor and crawl towards him (not Spiderman style). All around him are shards of glass.

"Baby? Can I touch you?" I ask. He looks at me, and my heart breaks. He throws himself into my arms and breaks into heartwrenching sobs. I hug him back.

"I'm so sorry Pete... I want to... I really do- it's just... Hydra used to- god, I can't speak... Rumlow... And some other people... They would- they would," he gasps for air. I kiss him gently.
"Please themselves with me," he whispers. I begin to cry as well.

"I'm so sorry baby. They'll never, ever, get their hands on you again. This world is so wrong for letting this happen to you. I'm so sorry."
He nods and cries some more.

"I love you so much but... Why couldn't I have died that day on the train?" He says in a small, fragile voice. I shake my head.

"I'm so sorry my darling," I whisper. "Please... Just focus on me. Don't think about all those years."
He nods and continues hugging me.

"Please don't leave me Pete," he says. I smile.

"I'll never leave you. And maybe one day, we can, y'know, 'do it.' But I'll wait for you. And only when you're ready. And you'll be able to stop at any moment, and we can go as slow or as fast as you want."
He cries some more.

"I love you so much Pete. What did I do to deserve you?" He asks. I smile some more and hug him.

"Don't mention any of this to anyone," he says.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I say, ruffling his hair.

"Hey! That's my thing to do!" He laughs slightly.