Flash Fictions by Benjamin D. Togate

The Shell I Love

"I want to go the beach" she said when I first met her. She loved the beach. Everything beach. The birds, the wind, the sand, the salt. Loved it. All of it. No matter if it was summer or winter, if the waves were clashing against the shore or if the sea was as still as a fresh snow on a quiet, cold day, where the air was standing, not moving.

I took her to the beach. In fact, all the time we had known each other, we went to the beach at least once a week. Sometimes two or three times. During one particular hot summerbreak we went every single day. She never grew tired of it and I never grew tired of seeing her excitement walking towards, in and along the water.

But then, something changed. I think it was around 2013. Gradually but surely she slipped away and retreated into herself and towards her smartphone. I didn't really notice at first. Because I also spent lots of time on that thing. Browsing facebook. Watching youtube videos. Laughing at funny Memes and later TikToks. Or sometimes answering important questions like if Starbucks was still open at 9pm, what the best route to the park was or if my sore throat was really just a sore throat or - as google suggested - throat cancer.

"Hey" I said one evening when we were both relaxing on the couch, each of us looking into their own little blue lit worlds "Should we use our phones less and spend more time with each other?"
"Mh?" she said. She hadn't even heard me. I waited for her to look at me, but I needed to say "Hey" two more times until I could break the bond between her eyes and the screen.
"What's up?" she said and I could hear an hint of annoyance at my disturbance. I repeated.
"Sure" she said getting back to her screen "that's a good idea"

The next morning she looked at her phone before I had even opened my eyes.
"Checking my E-Mails" she said. Maybe she had missed a late-night E-Mail for work. Not Likely. But possible.
"So" I started getting up and stretching my stiff muscles "should we spend some screenless time today?"
It was a bright Sunday morning and we did have time. Time for each other. If we wanted to.

"What you have in mind?" she said, looking at me and putting down her phone next to her, leaving her hand lingering on it, ready to grab it again at the next opportunity.
"We could go to the beach?" Maybe she heard the bit of hope in my voice, because I could see her hesitating and thinking, noticing a tiny frown on her forehead.

The truth was... I missed her. I missed how she used to perk up, when I pointed out something to her. Like the guy on the motorcycle with the Malamute Husky on his backseat.
"Wow" she'd say laughing "that's so cute" or dangerous, or interesting, or weird, depending on the situation I had pointed out to her. And she'd do the same with me and usually, we'd laugh about it or sometimes have lengthy discussion about it.

These days she'd say "Mh" or "Oh" with a short glance - if at all. Sometimes she didn't say anything until I had to ask repeatadly if she had seen it. And then she said "Yeah, I saw it, but I'm busy" and I felt angry and annoyed - just like she probably did.

I missed that connection we had. I didn't know who was to blame. Was it the smartphone we had both grown used to or was it just the normal path of relationships, that were doomed to deteriorte over time, slowly loosing that connection, that intimacy, that closeness, that... love.

Maybe we could bring it back?

So I packed a towel, suncream, an umbrella and off we went. It turned out to be a bit too cold for swimming still, so we left the stuff in the car after all and just went on a walk. She tried. She really did. For all our walk she didn't pull out her phone at all, except for taking pictures once or twice and the subsequent quick check of new messages. I left mine in the car.

But we didn't really know what to talk about. We used to. We'd talk about - just stuff. And now it almost felt awkward as if we hadn't been married for 5 years.

"The sun is setting, how beautiful" I sad looking towards the horizon.
She followed my gaze.
"You're right" she said and smiled.

That smile. She'd been angry and annoyed so frequently that I had almost forgotten how pretty she looked when she smiled. I took her by the hand and smiled back into her brown hazel eyes.

"I'm glad we're back here again"
"Me too" she said

As we went on our walk, hand in hand, for the first time in a long time, I had a good feeling about this. About us. That we were meant to be together, ment to last. I was happy.

Until she let go of my hand.

She didn't warn me. She didn't say "excuse me". She just pulled out her phone and looked on that screen, blue light radiating out of it. I glanced over to what have set her off.
"Mid Year Sale, up to 90% discounts" said that notification. She quickly scrolled throught he specials before putting the phone back into her pocket.

Once her phone was put away, her hand didn't seek mine again and I didn't seek hers. We just kept on walking, silently, on that beach she once loved.