'I do love you', Maria said with tears in her eyes.
' I haven't seen you in ten years. You left without saying anything, leaving me worried. You shouldn't have come here.' I said while getting up from my chair.
I felt sick to my stomach. She seemed different. In a good way. I really wanted to stay, ask her how she was feeling, what's new in her life, when did she cut her hair in a beautiful bob cut, if she ever bought the dog that she really really wanted. But I couldn't. I couldn't look at her face. The face who betrayed me and now is sitting in front of me, turning red from crying. The time was up anyways therefore I didn't feel that bad for leaving.
I met Maria seventeen years ago. I was traveling alone, around the world. On my way to Italy, I stopped in a small town in France. I had to spend the night there, because a storm was coming.
When I was a kid, I used to go outside every time it rained. I loved the feeling when a small raindrop touched my skin. All the loneliness inside of me was gone. The Earth was hugging me in a way that no one ever did. Rainy days were my happy days. I grew up and got diagnosed with depression. Since then, I haven't left my house on a rainy day, because I felt like it was the Earth's fault. The Earth didn't love me as much as I thought. All those hugs were a lie. The Earth betrayed me, therefore I cried on every rainy day. I missed the rain touching my skin, I missed the feeling of fresh air flowing into my lungs after our time together, I missed the thunderstorm starting when the Earth got mad at me. I couldn't forgive the Earth for betraying me, therefore I watched it all from the window. I watched kids jumping in water puddles, teenagers receiving hugs from the Earth just like I did. I was mad that it was them and not me. There were times when I was so mad that I started to sweat and once I even tried to end my life. Earth was the only one who understood how I felt and was always there for me. Two minutes of rain hugs would be enough for me to feel better, but then it was all gone.
I stopped at the hotel I was staying at and as I was leaving my car, I realized that I wasn't very tired, in fact I was feeling energized, so energized that I could run a marathon and win even though I wasn't much of a runner. Feeling energized was a rare feeling of mine, therefore I wanted to take advantage of it. Many years have passed since the feelings of betrayal to Earth started. I have come in peace with Earth. Nothing about it is making me feel mad anymore. I would say that I feel almost nothing towards Earth. I feel emptiness and lack of care, but I know that somewhere inside me, I still care and miss the rain, because I still haven't gone outside to receive "forgive me" hugs. It means something, but I can't figure out what. I decided that on this day, I will fully allow myself to forgive Earth and go on a walk. It was pouring rain. I locked my car, put the keys in the pocket of my jeans and went on a walk in the beautiful streets of Biella. I was overwhelmed. I felt so much and so little at the same time. I let my thoughts go. The only thought that stayed inside me was how heavy my wallet was. It was full of money that I was planning to spend in France. It was in the pocket of my jacket and with every step it felt heavier and heavier. I was walking carefully, because I didn't have a zipper or a button to close my pocket. I started to take smaller steps. Small steps made my legs feel more tired. They started to hurt so I stopped to rest for a bit. Immediately the rain was gone. Not a single raindrop was falling from the sky. I got confused. Madness was starting to take over my whole body. I was starting to feel mad in every muscle, in every strand of my hair.
' Is this your apology?' I started to yell. I had so much to say, but nothing came out of my mouth. The words just fell over my lips into the water puddles and disappeared.
A minute passed and I felt a raindrop in the middle of my forehead. Then another one on my arm. All of my madness was gone. Just like that. I forgave Earth in a matter of seconds. I started to walk and the heaviness of my wallet was gone. In fact, nothing felt heavy anymore. With each step it felt more and more like I was walking on the clouds. I knew it was Earth. It felt too good to be true. Everything I felt as a kid, came back to me. I even started to become joyful.
It stopped raining after a little while and the night was starting to become darker and darker. I started to feel cold. I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket and the wallet wasn't there. I started to check every pocket of my clothes with the hope that my wallet was going to be there. I knew where exactly I put it, therefore I knew that I had lost it, but the voice inside me told me to check my pockets anyways. As I was about to curse and blame it all on Earth again, I heard a voice yelling. It was too high to be a man's voice, but it wasn't like a siren calling me as well. It sounded like... A mermaid.
' Est-ce votre portefeuille?' The voice repeated.
' Sorry?'
' Is this your wallet?' A beautiful woman with straight, dark brown hair said.
Her hair was long. They probably tangled a lot. And her smile. Oh her smile. It lit up like the full moon that was shining on the street. The dimples in her cheeks made her look even more attractive. I am sure to say that I fell in love with her. I wasn't mad at Earth anymore, because the Earth, the universe, sent her here.
' Yes, it is!' I smiled back at her.
She opened my wallet and saw a lot of money.
' Woah. Of course it's yours' She said with a sarcastic voice.
She didn't believe me. I started to laugh and gave her my credit card, which was behind my phone case. Looking back, it was kind of a foolish move. She could've taken my wallet and my credit card and ran away. But she didn't and I trusted her. Weird. I met her ten seconds ago, but it felt like I could trust my whole life to her.
She checked the name on my credit card and took out one of my cards from the wallet. The name, obviously, was the same, but unfortunately she took out my driver's license. The picture was embarrassing. It was taken a few years ago when I still looked like a kid. I also fell and hit my head on the table the day before the picture was taken, therefore I had a bump on my forehead.
She took a look at the picture, then at me and she started to laugh.
' Here you go!' She gave me back my wallet, but kept the license.
I gave her a confused look.
' Come and drink with me, or you won't get it back!'
I was trying to look into her eyes, but it was dark. I could barely see them, but I trusted them, I trusted her eyes. It felt like I was looking into a dark hole. Two dark holes, actually. They felt a bit scary, because I started to see something in them that wasn't real. I started to see faces, not human faces, but monster faces. Those faces weren't real. It was just my mind having hallucinations, because of the darkness, because there was no light. For a moment it even felt like they were real. I started to get a bit uncomfortable, but safe at the same time. Her masculine body, and the warmest smile I've ever seen made it feel safe. I somehow knew she could save me from anything. Even the dark lord Voldemort. I could never push myself to trust people, because everyone betrays me, but with her it was different. She was my soulmate. I can't explain it, but I knew.
I let my imagination go too far.
' Are you here?' She interrupted my thoughts.
My heart started to beat as fast as a kid, who's running to hug his father after not being able to see him for a year. I was nervous because I have never really gone on a date with anyone, especially women.
I wasn't feeling tired and I had nothing else to do, so I agreed.
