Steaming Desire - Melissa Young

Chapter Twelve - Kiara

"Fuck," the word swarmed in the room several minutes after he spoke it. The tears still stained my cheeks with embarrassment, and I hated myself for them.
   It was such a distinct sign of weakness that it made me sick to my stomach. I swiped my cold fingers over my tender cheek and swallowed. I had left the cells in quite a bad mood after what I had done. Feeling like such an asshole for running out as I did. l got carried away and when I realized what I did, there was no subtle way of stopping it.
   But the more I told myself that the Captain was the only man I should be that close to, the more I wanted them. I wanted to feel the way Hunter made me feel that day in the cabin, and especially now. I had recognized the feeling of something unfinished a few minutes before when the Captain had fucked his frustrations out.
   Unfortunately for me, his release hadn't blown all the steam, and that was the reason behind the burning in my cheek. I could taste the rum and smoke on his tongue when he kissed me, and I figured the alcohol stayed the reason behind the emotions most visible that evening.
   I sat at the edge of his bed with my legs hanging over the edging and my arms placed softly on my knees. Feeling like a child waiting to be dismissed when I sat there, completely still.
   His breathing, heavy and unbothered. I wanted to get out of there, but was scared that his temper would show again if I defied him.
   Small goosebumps trickled my peach white skin with every breath he took. I realized the moment I walked into the cabin that I had grown used to the calm in the room, and that it would cost me.
   Being equally scared every time the shattering anger flew around the room like balls of fire, I hadn't recognized the signs of his flaming anger when the air had shifted, and I had to pay for the mistake.
   He found me walking across the deck from the door that led downstairs and didn't seem the least bit angry with me. He wanted me to see him in his room, like he usually told me.
   The hard sting across my face burned the second the door closed behind me, and I knew the same moment that I just walked straight into a trap.
   It wasn’t any worse treatment than I most often received when he was mad at the world, but it hurt nonetheless. I started to believe that he began to get better, that I brought out something new in him, but the exasperation radiated off his body in a way I had never seen before.
   He wasn't angry at the world for taking Elijah from him, like he often seemed to be, but at me. The unreasonable feeling pointed at me and as much as I wanted to get out of the room with the thick air that suffocated me with every breath I took, I still wanted to know what I had done to deserve the slaps I received.
   He hadn't told me why he had brought me there or why I got the treatment I did. Feeling betrayed in an odd way because even though he didn’t owe me anything, I still felt as though he got better.
   I turned toward him with my eyebrows furrowed, "Why did you hit me?" My voice broke, and I cursed myself for the slip up. I needed to know what behavior to avoid for the future. His eyes glazed over my naked body, taking in every dip of it while he thought about his answer.
   "I barely fucking touched you, Kiara," he scoffed and laid back against the pillow again with his hands behind his head. "It could have been a lot worse considering what you did," he cursed under his breath, but I don’t think he meant for me to hear it.
   "I just want to know why, so I can leave," I breathed and bit my lip. I just wanted to move on with my life from what had happened and not look back, but in order for that to happen, I needed to know what I had done wrong.
   He groaned and rolled his eyes while propping himself up on his elbows. "I saw where you were going, Kiara." He stared into my soul, but I knew that I was a good liar.
   "I know that you were out there to get on the other ship." I tensed, not imagining thinking he was that good at examining situations, but it seemed like there was a lot I didn't know about him.
   "I was trying to stop them from leaving our ship," I defended myself. My heart raced when I thought back to the obvious attempt at escaping, and I could see how he figured it out so quickly. I hadn’t been subtle by the way I tried to get away from them, since I hadn't considered the possibility of getting caught. I didn't know what to do if he had figured out my real motive for leaving, but I noticed something unexpected in the thought. Instead of being scared for my own skin in the matter, I found myself worried about my friends under deck. What if I couldn't get them home, what would happen to them then?
   "Whatever," he groaned and turned to his side, away from me. I let out a relieved sigh, he hadn't figured it out, and I could feel the calm washing over me. "Leave." It wasn't pleasantly spoken or in a way that made me feel any better about what had happened. I just wanted to kick him until his nose bled, his body, bruised and the fucking hurt was nowhere to be found.
   The thought forced a small smile to my lips. The picture of his helpless body in front of my feet made me pleasantly proud and might or might not have saved his damn life. I got dressed and left the room without another word. He mumbled under his breath the whole time, but I couldn't bring myself to listen to the meaningless muttering.
   My breathing stuttered when I walked from his cabin and toward the mizzenmast. I stayed annoyed and confused to the point where I needed something to criticize.
   Standing under it for several minutes, I just followed the long ropes that slithered around the thick wood like snakes, it had a perfect pressure along it so that the rope wasn't in anybody's way.
   I sighed with a heavy breath when I couldn’t find a single problem with the perfectly hung rope. I needed to scream somebody in the face and James would have been the person for the job, but the exceptionally done task pissed me off even more. My feet clicked with loud echoes against the wood when I walked past the mast and toward the railing.
   The water pushed around the boat with its slow and playful waves in our direction. I watched out over the eternal body of water while the wind grabbed and moved my hair around my face.
   It was really a blessed life even through all its downsides. I crossed my arms and leaned them on the railing while small droplets started to fall from my eyes and into the sea. My posture wasn’t at all disturbed by my falling tears, but my mentality wavered in the most uncomfortable way. I wasn’t used to crying in front of people and even when I knew that there were hardly any human beings on deck at the exact moment, it was nonetheless against my natural instinct.
   I breathed in and forced the icy cold air to fill my aching lungs despite the shivering pain that ran up and down my spine.
   I had always been told that the only way to show emotion was by breaking something or yelling at somebody. It was a sign of weakness to cry, and it stood almost unforgivable to do so in front of people. It was the way I had been raised, and it sat in the core of my bones. Sighing, I raised my hand to dry the small moisture on my cheekbone, the deck was seldom empty for long, and I didn’t want to seem feeble in front of my family.
   Straightening my back and taking another deep breath, the blood continued to pulse in my ears. In the rush of the moment, a sudden idea craved my attention.
   I was desperate for revenge on the captain, but the plan in my head was an inclusive idea to keep him out of my mind. He couldn’t under any circumstances find out about my next move and if he did, I didn’t know what would happen to me.
   A sharp sting circled up the insides of my thighs and toward my stomach, but the second I accepted the filthy fantasies, it turned into a pleasant burn that focused its energy between my legs and on my throbbing pussy. I could still not say that The Captain’s opinion on what━or who━I did, didn’t matter, since he was the way out for the poor men under deck.
   The mere thought about the few minutes I had with Hunter and Knox alone made an almost unbearable flame heat up my clit all the way through my slit to my lower back. I gasped and swallowed, the feeling grew every second and I had every intention to make it disappear in the next few minutes.