Oh, Crap!

Really?!?

  Ever have one of those days where you slap yourself upside the head and think, "I should have called out sick and stayed in bed"?

  Yeah, those days are "special". There's a tree across your driveway on your way to work, the coffee burns, your lucky underwear is torn, the cat ate the dog, and what is that smell in my car? Like I said, "special". Those days push us and test us to the limit of our nerves, and sometimes, our embarrassment. Everyone loves a good, smooth sailing day; the kind of days you drift off to sleep with a smile. But then, what was so memorable about those days, other than they were easy-going?

  Well, everyone also happens to love a good story; they're the portraits we paint for one another, whether to teach or entertain. And those bad days, they make some of the best stories. I heard someone once say that if you want to make a beautiful painting, you've got to use some dark colors. And, if you really think about it, when you go to the movies, you're really just watching people having some really bad days. Kind of like my story here. And believe it or not ...it really happened!!

  So, without further ado...

  It was a dark and stormy night...

  Well, ...sorta.

  Actually, it was an early summer day. And not exactly stormy as much as it was more... mmmm... partly cloudy, with a 40% chance of rain- but it was raining!

  ...Somewhere.

  But seriously, it was freaking hot!

  Anyway, work had been pretty steady, and nearly non-stop all morning. I'd already started my shift with an energy drink/juice cocktail I like to whip up from time to time. Namely when the air shifts just right and I can smell the stench of a hard day drifting in before I've even left my house. And boy did it drift in, by lunch I was working on the fifth semi-truck that rolled in one of the bays.

  Oh yeah, I forgot! At that time I was working in a truck shop for a nationwide company. And since corporate didn't believe our little shop does enough volume to warrant a tire machine, we did everything by hand. A little FYI: if you ever feel the need for a full body work out that will exhaust you- change a tire on a semi-truck from beginning to end by hand. Everything from crawling under the disabled unit to jack up the axle, to completing the work, and putting all the equipment back in its place is a strenuous work out for anyone not used to it. So, naturally by lunch, in 90+ degree heat, I was exhausted. I'd already plowed through my cocktail and a bottle of water or two. Thankfully the boss let me run up to the store, about a hundred feet away, for drinks and bathroom breaks. (Yeah, I said 'let'. What can I say, he was a Marine🤷) While in there, I filled up a 32oz. cup each time with ABC Water out of the fountain (yeah, I won't tell you it's real name). I wanted the electrolytes without all the sugar of most sports drinks. Seemed reasonable to me.

  When I got back to the shop, after my third refill trip, I felt like I needed a boost to get me through the next job. That's when I remembered the tablet a friend had given me a few days before. I searched my pockets with all the care of a crackhead searching between the cushions of a couch for loose change. And finally, I came upon it! Wrapped in foil like an MRE prepared for a 40-year stint on a shelf in a bunker somewhere, was "Ready-Set-Go", the effervescent energy tablet. When my friend gave it to me, she said that all I needed to do was drop it in my water. And that my body would instantly burn 80 to 100 calories by just drinking it.

  Easy enough.

  So, into my cup of ABC Water it went! What could it hurt? Extra flavor, right? Well, it didn't effervesce at all- so much for my Alka-Seltzer on steroids, but it did mix well enough. So, I slammed half the drink right there, and it got me through the next job. Although, not entirely unscathed. Afterwards , I was pouring with sweat and feeling somewhat queasy. So, I polished off the drink, about the time the boss told me to take lunch since it was just after 12 and there weren't any jobs left. Well, off to the store I went, and sat in the attached restaurant in a strange mix of malaise and gratitude. Of course, I refilled my cup with more fountain drink to accompany my grand feast of a single pack of Lunchables. Not the greatest lunch when you're busting your butt, yet I'd learned to survive on them at a previous job. And though my overheated stomach said "No", I said "Yes." I needed the protein to do whatever is does to keep me from passing out from my hypoglycemia, and the crackers to make everything stick in my stomach. Anyway, I nibbled a little and drank a lot. Thirty minutes later, I felt right as rain, and traipsed back down to the shop- with no cup in hand (I was pretty tired of that drink by then).