my best friends brother | eren.j

eren jaeger is a meanie

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"Eren Jaeger is the meanest boy I know."

Were the words you sniffled to your mother at six years old after Eren Jaeger had teased you about your face, poking at you relentlessly even though his sister scolded him not to.

"He's a good boy N/N. He's been through a lot. He doesn't mean it truly. He just doesn't want anyone to see him being soft."

Was what your parents would tell you at nine years old after Eren had made you cry again. He never pulled your hair or tried to fight you when you were younger like the other kids, he had a sharp tongue that cut deep, and he enjoyed making you cry.

You never understood it. Bella and Eren had grown up together, so why was Bella so sweet to you and Eren so cruel?

You never understood your parents constantly defending Eren until the summer the year you turned sixteen, when you were sleeping over at the Jaegers, and being a light sleeper, the smallest of noises awoke you, so it was no surprise when Eren's feeble attempt of sneaking back into the house startled you, and you'd rushed downstairs to see what happened.

"Ren?" You didn't mean to call him that. It was a slur of sleep and concern as you washed your best friend's brother stumble through the foyer and press a finger to his lips as he collapsed on the stairs and you rushed to him.

"You've been drinking? Eren? What the hell!" You whispered in shock, pulling him up as he groaned.

"Please. Y/N. Spare me the lectures. My head hurts enough already." He grumbled before looking at you with tear stained eyes and your heart ached. You didn't realise that everything that had been happening in the last two years had still been affecting him.

"Are you okay Eren?" You whispered, trying not to cry. It was pathetic, but as much as you hated him, you still cared for him. You grew up with him, and you had your differences, but he was important to Bella. And his situation hasn't made things any better also.

"Hmm. I don't know Y/N let's think about it. My mom's cancer is back after almost losing her when I was seven, and my dad is turning back into the psycho freak he was when he had my half brother. I'm doing fine."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Stupid question." You mutter before sitting beside him and patting his head to console him.

Perhaps it was the alcohol addling his mind. But he lay his head on ur lap, and although you could feel tears run onto your pyjamas, you remained silent. He clearly needed this.

"I don't know what to do Y/N. She's not getting better. You don't know how crazy dad went the last time she almost died. He's just angry at so much. And so am I. It's all wrong. So wrong. And I try not to act like I care so I don't scare Bella but I'm so scared. If I lose her, I lose Dad as well."

"It's so tiring. Every time we think she's better, she's worse. And every day I have to prepare myself to lose the person I love more than anyone in the world. I have to grieve a living person because I have to see the shit she goes through, and I can't do anything but pray that she's okay, and then there's just so much anger. Why aren't my prayers being answered? Why does it never go away? Why her? What did she do to deserve such a terrible sickness?" He said with a strained voice as if he was holding back from bursting into great sobs, and you were honestly at a loss for words. This wasn't the easiest thing to comfort.

You blink back the tears that were burning within your own eyes and put a hand to Eren's head, smoothing out his dark locks that he had started to grow out, before resting your head against his, almost enclosing him into a hug.

"You're the bravest Ren. Truly. But you know you don't need to keep it all in. It's normal to be upset over this, it's your mom, she's your, and Bella's, world. You're being extremely hard on yourself, there's nothing you could do to change this, and she's been so much better this last two years, especially this year. I know it's a constant guessing game, but you'd rather cherish the moments you have with her than be angry and resentful, possibly stopping you from truly enjoying your time with her. You're so worried about your Dad and Bella, but what about you coping? You're allowed to grieve her you know. Be upset for her. Cry for her. It doesn't make you any less of the strong, reliant son you want to be. It just makes you more of the compassionate, caring boy Carla raised you to be."