Gone too soon

Manuel

         Ashlyn told me everything Cameron did. Mostly because we were cousins but also because she trusted me with her life. Ever since she met me, she always told me everything. She told me the day Cameron threatened her, the day they got together, their anniversary, the day she started to lose feelings. There's a lot more. But I can't remember it off the top of my head. I felt bad for Ashlyn because she was practically alone. Her parents didn't want anything to do with her, her boyfriend especially didn't. I was the only one there for her. Although, I do wish my feelings were considered a bit too.

       Me and Ashlyn meet once a week at a small, underrated coffee shop in town. Our last meet up was emotional. Even for me. I got to the coffee shop earlier than her, as usual. I ordered my Matcha cappuccino. I drank it as I waited for pop music to come bursting through the door. I usually knew when Ashlyn walked in because she always had her favorite pop playlist playing. Her playlist consisted of Olivia Rodrigo, Taylor Swift, Justin Beiber, Ariana Grande and many more other pop singers. I don't like pop music. I only tolerate it for Ashlyn and Arina.

    Someone sat down in front of me. I looked up at her, confused. "Where's the music at?" I asked. "Not in the mood." She replied. A waitress walked up to our table and smiled at me. "Hello Ms. Can I get you anything?" She asked. "Green tea, one sugar please." Ashlyn replied. I can't believe my own cousin puts tea in her tea. I think there was a mistake in our bloodline. "How is everyone?" Ashlyn asked, as the waitress started to walk away. "Everyone is okay. Sofie and Kaleb are starting to get closer than usual though. Everyone misses you." I replied. "That's good." She said, Her eyes started to get watery. "Hey, are you okay cuz?" I asked her. "No,not really. Dad is interested in this woman from work. He's starting to push me away. Just like mom did." She spoke. "I'm sorry Ash." I said.

       I didn't really know what to say to that. If her dad kicks her out then she'll either be back with her mom or she'll go into foster care. "If it makes you feel any better, I saw Uncle the other day. He was talking about getting you a surprise." I said, hopefully making her feel better. "Yea, I know. He said he needs me to get a presentable boyfriend for his big business trip next week. So, he took me on a shopping spree. Well, he didn't, the nanny did, he just paid for it." She said, "Oh, can i tell you something-" I said but Ashlyn cut me off. She started crying. "I'm sorry. I feel so guilty about not being able to hang out with you guys. I miss them all so much. I would go if I could." She said,

        "Tell them then." I said. "I can't. I don't want them to feel bad for me. " She replied. "I need a favor." She said, "Of course, Anything." I answered. "If we ever argue about this with the group, act like you don't know. Act mad. Act surprised, upset, hurt. Do they know about our weekly meetings here?" She said, Why didn't she want them to know? "Sure, and No. I've been telling them that I've been dedicating a day to Charlotte." I replied. Charlotte was my little sister. Anytime someone asked me where I was going, I always said I was going to see my sister. My sister lives with my dad. I live with my grandmother. My dad said I could choose where I wanted to go but he wanted Charlotte because she reminded him of my mother.

       "Tell them then." I said. "I can't. I don't want them to feel bad for me. " She replied. "I need a favor." She said, "Of course, Anything." I answered. "If we ever argue about this with the group, act like you don't know. Act mad. Act surprised, upset, hurt. Do they know about our weekly meetings here?" She said, Why didn't she want them to know? "Sure, and No. I've been telling them that I've been dedicating a day to Charlotte." I replied. Charlotte was my little sister. Anytime someone asked me where I was going, I always said I was going to see my sister. My sister lives with my dad. I live with my grandmother. My dad said I could choose where I wanted to go but he wanted Charlotte because she reminded him of my mother.

      Honestly, Charlotte really does look a lot mom. Her chocolate brown skin, Her caramel brown eyes, Her perfect eyebrows, Her flawlessly clear and glowy skin, and Her gorgeous curly hair. Although most of the time Charlotte made dad pay for her hair to be braided since she said it was too much work to deal with it. I look more like my dad. I have his hair, his light brown skin, his dark brown eyes, and his same exact nose shape. Some people say I look just like him or that I'm his twin. That's what my mother used to say before she died. I chose to stay with my grandmother since she couldn't cope with my mom's death.

           "Great." She said, After that we continued to talk about how she was doing, Her mental health and physical health. I wish she would say just three simple words. "How are you?" I prayed that each time we met she would just ask me that simple question. I'm not a person who vents to someone out of no-where. I feel if you ask someone how the person is feeling you are giving them permission to vent. The last time someone asked me how I was doing was last week. When I texted Arina.

Hey

Oh hey manuel how have u been?

I'm good and you?

        I didn't vent to her. I didn't want her to know anything was wrong with me. She would be mad at me for not telling her sooner. That was the last thing I needed.  Arina can feel when something is wrong with someone. But me. I hide it too well. I call it my secret superpower.

     The next day, when i wake up Kaleb's not on his air mattress. I figured he went home. I didn't really feel like getting out of bed. It was a Sunday morning. I look at my clock next to my bed. It reads 10:37. Grandma should be at church right now, but I hear pots banging and food sizzling. I could smell the bacon from my bedroom. Why didn't grandma go to church today? I really don't wanna get up and walk all the down stairs and into the kitchen just to ask and get a stupid simple answer then go back up stairs to lay back down, no. hell no. too much work at the moment. I grab my phone which is on the floor connected to the charger. Two texts from Trash, A notification about turning down my volume while my headphones are in. I would rather go deaf than turn my volume down.

      Trash is my ex-girlfriend. Her name isn't actually Trash. It's Demi. She left me for a popular dude. Recently, he dumped her for another dumb blonde. Typical. Karma sucks, doesn't it. She's been texting me a lot lately. Telling me how much she's sorry and how much she misses me. I click on her text.

 I understand how you feel now and it sucks.

Baby, take me back please. I'm rlly sorry.

      She has a better chance of graduating highschool without getting pregnant before she understands how I felt. I was in love with her. I probably would've taken a bullet for her.I couldn't wait till we got married, had kids, and grew old together. We were Highschool Sweethearts. More like Freshman Sweethearts. Dumb freshman who thought they were in love. When she left it was like a stab to the heart. I remember it like it was just a few minutes ago. She walked up to me and said "Hey baby." She seemed upset though. I didn't notice that until I played it in my head over and over that night. I hugged her and kissed her forehead. Like I always do. She pulled away.

     "I'm breaking up with you." She says. She's looking down at her black converse. I froze. I coulda sworn someone shot me and I hallucinated instead of realizing I was shot. Damn, I didn't know words could hurt that much. I read her text over and over again. I decided to reply.

You have a better chance of going to heaven.

Omg. Rlly manuel? I said sorry. I feel bad for what i did. Please baby. Remember us? We were so good together.

    She sent an image of us. I remember that day. October 3rd. Fall carnival. I paid for both of our tickets. We spent the night at her house that night. She got sick from all the candy apples she ate. I took care of her. That was the first day she told me I love you. I replayed that moment so many times in my head. I miss Demi a little if i'm being honest. I won't go back with her until I know she's changed and I know she never will. On Thursday she texted Kaleb on Instagram and asked him out. Kaleb said no because he likes Sofie. He and Sofie would actually make a cute couple.

    I know me and Arina would too. I have caught feelings for her over these past few months.