A Court of Rage and Fire

Chapter 18

Part II

"You never came back to dance with me last night," Elain said sadly as she folded a light, slinky summer gown for Nesta's honeymoon trunk.

Nesta looked up from the pile of lacy underthings that Ada had embarrassed her with two days before, then down at her hands. When she arose that morning—not awoke, since she had barely slept due to the agony that faded only slightly through the night—the bandages Eris had carefully wrapped around her hands and wrists were soaked in blood and fluid, the blisters broken and partially scabbed over by her Fae healing, burned flesh sloughing off in dead strips. Eris was already waiting for her, having prepared a tea for the pain, which she again refused.

When she said she wanted to feel it, she had meant it. Every moment of agonizing pain, every unbearable itch that she could not scratch, she honed into one blade-sharp goal.

Nothing else mattered. The Trove, Briallyn, Koschei...none of them would matter if they did not first remove the greatest danger within Prythian's borders. The only thing that still tugged at her was the danger that her youngest sister faced from within her own body, the nightmare creeping closer to reality every day. But there was nothing Nesta could do but trust that Rhysand, the most powerful High Lord in history, with all the magic and allies in the world at his disposal, would find a way to save his own ass, and Feyre's along with it. She couldn't bring herself to trust Rhysand to do more than that.

Just like she couldn't bring herself to think about the look in Cassian's eyes as she ordered him away.

Just as Beron promised, Ada had come to Eris's house right before lunch. Their house now, though it would be hard for Nesta to trust that it was truly hers, as she had been torn away from five...five?...homes now. Nesta had noted how Ada hesitated at the door until Eris assured her the smokehounds, even lazy old Soup and Oatmeal, were all safely outdoors. How Ada was so much more quiet and subdued as she took Nesta into the bathing cave and healed her burns with cool water. Like Beron was physically there instead of just his handprints, seared into Nesta's skin.

"It will never happen again," Nesta said, willing her mother-in-law to meet her fierce gaze, where she knew controlled silver flames had burned since she had gotten out of the bath last night. It had been her meditation, her Mind-Stilling, as she suffered through those agonizing hours until noon, sending her flames to her eyes, then pulling them back down, as constant and smooth as an ocean wave.

Ada's eyes only flickered up to meet Nesta's for a second, the acknowledgement of what Nesta left unsaid. Not just to me. To you. To anyone.

Nesta couldn't tell if Ada believed her after five hundred years in Beron's grasp. And at lunch with all their guests, none of them had given any sign that the last twenty-four hours had been anything but a glorious party.

And now Nesta was packing for her honeymoon with her sister and her friends like nothing had happened.

"I'll dance with you all night the next time I get married." Elain laughed at that, and Nesta was relieved that her sister was not holding it against her. "Did you at least make it to the dance floor?"

"Don't worry, she danced enough with me to make up for not dancing with you or Lucien," Gwyn giggled as she sifted through the pile of lingerie. "Emerie went to bed so early, like ten minutes after you and Eris. We were the only fun ones left!"

Emerie snorted. "I'll remind you that I was the only one who didn't skip training this morning because I was sleeping off a hangover."

"I already cut the ribbon, so I've earned a day off," Gwyn said, and the words were like a knife through Nesta's heart. She had kept up with her own training these past weeks in the Forest House, but between training with her friends yesterday and the fact that Gwyn had beat the Valkyrie test without her there to cheer her friend on... It was a bittersweet reminder of what she had been forced to sacrifice for Rhysand's plan and her own freedom. "Though I doubt Nesta did much sleeping at all," Gwyn continued wickedly. Nesta managed to smile back, less because of the reason why she had not slept and more to see her once-timid and terrified friend joking so freely, especially around Elain, who she had only met a few times before, and in a foreign court, when she had barely been able to ascend the Library stairs to the House of Wind a few months ago.