the black light behind my eyes [h.s]

~2~

Finding to continue

collecting to cry

the pictures in my head

are the pictures that no one wants to see

they look like death

without the poetry

look like a storm

without the romance

like myself

without me

——————————————

It's 10.45 PM and only Now I  found the strength to get up. The moment something stupid like an old photograph hurts you is the moment you realize you've sunk a little too deep for your own good.

I got up and grabbed the vodka bottle, drinking while I stared at the picture. I still remember the day it was taken.

my mother woke me up early to go swimming and by the time we got home my dad already made lunch. We ate and laughed when all of the sudden my dad blindfolded me and took me deep into the woods.

"Dad, where are we?"

"We're at a place where your mind is allowed to wander, Harry" my dad said smiling.

"But my mind wanders everywhere I am, there is so much to think about. I can never stop wandering." I responded matter of factly.

"That is true" my father smiled, "but this is a place designed for it. Look for yourself" and with that he took my  blindfold off.

I was standing in the woods behind our house, looking at an enormous tree and if you looked closer you could see a ladder. I looked at my father, eyes filled with both curiosity and excitement.

"Can I climb the ladder, please?" I asked my voice filled with happiness.

"Yes, but before you do I want to give you something." he reached in his pocket and pulled out a small notebook, it was not a lot bigger than the palm of his hand. "this is for when you're not here. For when your thoughts are too loud. You can let your thoughts travel from here" he said pointing to my head "all the way to this little book."

I thanked him and finally rushed to the ladder I so desperately wanted to climb