If I Am Sky, Can You Not Be A Cloud

Rewind Pt. 2

A/N:

Part 2.

Feel free to disagree.

Still from Sky's perspective.

***

Love is madness. 

There is no other way to explain it. 

A feeling so intense it makes you lose your mind. Your soul. And in the most extreme of cases, your entire being. 

Show me someone who can look at LOVE in the eye and say he is still the same logical, reasonable and sane fellow he was before and I'll show you a hypocrite. A pretender. 

Love is when 'that' person asks you to jump off somewhere and you never question him 'why?'. Instead you ask him, 'where?'. 

It's crazy. I know. I've been there. And I think I'm here again.

I shudder at the thought. And if I'm being honest enough, I'm scared. So scared my hands are shaking. So scared I can't stop crying. So scared I am physically hurting. 

Will you hurt me too like he did before? I can't stop wondering. 

I hate the nipple rings but had them anyway. Will you also ask me to do something I hate?

I look at the person in front of me who for some reason felt like he brings the sunshine with him. Will my days turn as black as night again when you leave?

If being alone is like being in front of a bonfire by yourself -- warm but lonely, being with Pai felt like venturing towards the abyss of darkness beyond the shore. No one sane enough will leave the comforts of the shore at night and venture forward in the unknown. But then again love is madness, so in the darkness I go. 

After the 'I love you', Pai took me home. 

"Are you okay?" He asked me after closing the door.

I've been silent the entire ride back to my dorm. 

"I am for now. Will I be in the future?" 

Silence is my only reply.

Then Pai took my hand and held it firmly. 

We never spoke another word again for a few minutes. Instead we were looking at each other's eyes while Pai will sometimes bring my hand to his lips and gently kiss it. 

I swallowed a lump in my throat. 

"Pai, I'm scared." I choked on the words. I'm crying again.

He was looking at me tenderly. 

"Shhhh . . . Its okay. I'm here. I won't leave." He tries to assure me, now holding both of my hands.

The next question took all of me to voice out.

"Until when?" I ask. 

There's no forever. At least tell me when it will all end. 

Silence. 

"I want to stay. Let me stay." He said in a pleading voice.

"I'm not who you think I am." I told him and pulled away from his hold.

"I have the rest of my life to get to know you." 

"But the order is all wrong."

"But we can always start again. Just . . . just give us a chance." 

I want to say no. Put a period somewhere and end it all. 

Self-preservation is the safer option. 

You can never fall if you never jump. 

I stepped back. 

All the colors were drained from Pai's face. 

A single tear fell from his eye.

I can't.

So with everything I've got I said, 

"Hi, my name is Sky. I'm broken." Then extended my hand.

Pai had a blank look on his face. Then a smile slowly crept on his lips. He shook his head a little before wiping the damp on his face and reached for my hand.

"Hi, my name is Prapai, but just call me Pai. I'm good at fixing things."

***END***

11.26.22

SAT

A/N:

What bl series are you watching now?

P.S.

No need to say if you're disappointed.