Grey.

5.

CHAPTER 5 ... late August

In the weeks leading up to the new semester, I receive several messages from Harry but avoid them without reason. I don't know how I'd define our relationship but right now we stand in an in-between phase of being friends and being nothing at all. I occasionally wonder if he pities me. Often times, I find it hard to maintain my relationships because I've always found myself to be quite expendable. I remember a time from my childhood where my days would be spent in my grandfather's apple orchard with a girl named lily. For hours each summer day we'd run through the trees pretending to be fairies that roamed the land. As a naïve child, this was one of my only forms of escapism next to reading. Lily never saw the appeal of spending hours at the library but she'd humor me if it meant we'd get ice cream after. We were the greatest friends, until we weren't. I remember the day before 9th grade started when she decided she had better things to do then play pretend, and apparently, she had pretending to be my friend for far too long.

An exasperated sigh left Lily's mouth as we ate ice cream underneath an apple tree. I gazed at Lily but she didn't return the eye contact.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"We have our first day of 9th grade tomorrow." She spoke.

"Yeah? – What about it?" I said, and licked the cookies and cream ice-cream off the cone before it dripped onto my hand.

"Don't you think we're too old to be playing in apple orchards and going to the library." She said disdainfully. It was almost too cliché to be real, I thought.

"I think that's subjective. I mean, we should do things to have fun. Not because we're 'too old', wouldn't you agree?" I spoke.

"Not really. – People think we're weird. People think you're weird." She spat.

I looked at Lily confused as to where this all came from. Before this day she had never worried about what people thought of her, let alone if they thought she was a little strange. We did weird things and probably spent too much time at the library for kids our age, but it worked for us. Or so I had thought.

"Where is this coming from?" I asked, trying to understand her perspective.

"Its not coming from anywhere Quin. I just think maybe we should ..."

My heart sank.

"We should what?" I interrupted.

"I think we should stop being friends." She said monotonously.

Tears welled in my eyes.

"At least for now." She added.

"But why?" I asked softly.

"Because I don't want to go into high school with everyone thinking I'm a freak, Quinzel." She retorted.

Lily's fire red hair bounced around her head in a flurry. She looked regretful, but it was obvious this was a well-thought out and calculated move. She had been waiting weeks to tell me that she thought our friendship was useless, and when she finally got the chance, she was unforgiving.

"I can change, I promise! – Please Lily, we can still be friends!" I said with tears streaming down my face.

"We're not babies Quin. Stop acting like one." I wiped the tear from my cheek quickly and stared at Lily.

I saw Lily's phone light up with a text from her mom.

"My mom is here. Have fun being alone." She said then walked off.