Keeping Hope, Anna

Four

Dear Noah,

I slept like a baby last night! It was the best sleep I have gotten in weeks, and I pray it will last longer than my little spurts of good sleep. Tiffany finally told me her secret, she didn't want to tell me before because she thought it would compromise our friendship. But what she doesn't realize is that I don't give up on my friends. Even though some of them have given up on me (Sam), I will never abandon them like they all seem to think so. I was in a much better mood last night than I have been for a while, but it didn't last.

The longest Sam and I have never spoken is three days, we are going on four right now. I had decided to let him come to me, but now I am wondering if that is a wise idea. He doesn't seem to care if we don't speak and it scares me how little I miss his company. I thought I could never go without him, and him the same for me. I was his invisible crutch, the person we went to with things he wouldn't tell anyone else. I suppose he will just replace me with someone else.

James hasn't spoken to me either and I am starting to think he never will. I have never met a more stubborn person in my life, his views will not change no matter how hard I try to get him to understand. Tiffany has even texted him, telling him she wished they talked and that she doesn't hate him. I get more frustrated every day, I don't know what to do anymore. I have realized lately that soon I will never be able to talk at all. People, strangers I barely know come to me with secrets I have to keep. During the daily gossip at lunch I really have to watch my tongue so that nothing slips. It's getting harder and harder but I know I can't let these people down, even if I do barely know them. They trusted me on a whim, I have to keep the promises I made. I miss you.

Keeping Hope,

Anna