Seven Times I Hated Kim Seokjin

4th: Fall in Love in the Moonlight

Jin had warned me plenty. Gave me a rundown on how the next couple of months were going to look like for his availability. While he was gone on his concerts and promotion overseas, we continued with our relationship. He was adamant about allowing things to happen naturally between us, insisting we shouldn't force it. He made me promise if things became too difficult that I would tell him so. He didn't want to break up but didn't want me to feel pressured either.

Contrary to my original thoughts and hope that he would forget about me while he was gone, my heart fluttered almost every day because we were still in communication. He messaged me multiple times a day. Twice, his schedule was too intense and he didn't get back to me until almost two days later. Before he left, he made a promise to me in return: he would make sure not to go 48 hours without contacting me.

"You can't promise that," I had said to him after he said it.

We were sitting together in a corner during one of his breaks. Due to the amount of practice he had, I found myself going often to his company to visit him during those last two weeks before he left.

He took a sip of his drink. "Why not?"

"You've mentioned there are times you have 16-hour work days. You barely have time to shower and sleep. I don't want to be someone you have to bother contacting," I said honestly.

He looked taken aback by my response. "You're not a bother."

I had chosen the wrong words. I knew he liked talking to me just as much as I enjoyed his company. "That's not how I meant it. I meant you have enough to worry about. If you go several days or even a couple of weeks without contact, I'll understand," I said honestly. "It's more important you rest."

He took a pause, almost like he was considering my words. He quickly had a look of dislike written on his face. "I don't think I can go more than a day without talking to you now. There's no way I'll survive a week," he said, his eyes looking right at me.

We hadn't known each other for very long, but the look in his eyes told me he was being truthful. There was no cocky look at the moment, no flirtatious look he liked to give me to see me blush; it was all pure honesty.

And while my instincts wanted to trust him, my head intervened. I couldn't trust him because I didn't know him, know him.

When his flight took off, I prepared to never hear from him again. However, within not even two hours after takeoff, I was sent several messages from the air.

ME: Isn't this costing you an arm and a leg?

I felt guilty sending the message because I was contributing to the high bill.

SEOKJIN: Why do you think I'm stingy? I save my money and use it for when it matters.

The last four words of his message made me grin from ear to ear. I even did an embarrassing body wiggle, kicking my feet in pure joy.

It was quite embarrassing how many times I reread that line.

Sadly, my skepticism managed to catch up to me and I convinced myself his messages would start to lose momentum. However, it had been about two months since he left and he had yet to break his promise. And I felt myself believe he wouldn't break his promise. Felt myself let go of the skepticism. Felt myself feel a different type of hope....

In the two months he was gone, I couldn't remember all our conversations. Sometimes they were silly and goofy and lasted several hours. Others were deeper but were cut too short. He spoke about his thoughts and worries, allowing me to be an ear he was clearly in desperate need of. In return, I spoke about my fear of my mother's health. I never talked aloud about the subject, but Seokjin made it so easy for me to trust him.