ʜᴀɴᴅꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ || ᴋᴛʜ

Chapter 40 || HEA

"Because I didn't want you to find out I was alive. I didn't intend to return."

Y/n stared at the man she loved, calmly letting her know he had intended to abandon her by letting her think he had died.

He looked torn as he spoke. "You were supposed to think I was a criminal and that I'm dead. And you were supposed to move on. But Jiwoo and Young-ok let me know you were grieving. They were worried that you would waste away and might even take your own life. So, I decided to return to let you know the truth before begging you to move on."

"You don't love me?" she asked in a whisper.

He held her face and looked into her eyes. "I love you more than anything in the world. But my life is still dangerous. No one knows I'm still alive, but they might find out somehow. You deserve happiness and security. I stole your dreams to fulfill mine. So I wanted to give back your dreams to you. I want you to live a happy, fulfilling life."

She stared at him. She could see his hurt. And although she understood what he was saying, her heart was furious. It rejected his great big sacrifice.

"You want me to lead a happy, fulfilling life? Even if it's with another man? With Eunwoo?"

Something flickered in his eyes. "Yes," he said softly. "I want you to be happy. Even if it's with another man."

"I like children. I'll have to lie under Eunwoo each night, letting him make love to me, letting him impregnate me with his child. Will you be okay with it too?" Her voice rose with each word.

Even though he tried to hide it, she saw him flinch hard as though the visual she put in his head hurt him physically.

"Yes. Anything that would make you happy and lead a content life."

She hated him right then. Hated him for wanting to sacrifice his happiness for her.

So she hit him at the most vulnerable spot. "What if I'm not safe anywhere else?" she demanded. "What if your enemies somehow find out about me even with my new identity and kill me?"

His eyes flashed dangerously. "I won't let anything happen to you. I'll destroy anyone who intends harm to you. But if for some reason I'm unable to protect you, and my enemies somehow reach you, I will slaughter them all, avenging your death before joining you."

She sucked in her breath. "Before you join me? In death?"

"Yes," he said quietly as though it was obvious.

"Only cowards take their own lives! You agreed with me when I said that. How can you talk about getting killed just because I'm gone!"

"I am a coward when it comes to you," he said calmly. "I might not take my own life, but I'll not protect myself from taking dangerous risks. I'm not strong enough to live in a world knowing you aren't there."

Hot tears prickled her eyes. "Then why do you want us to be apart! You are my world too. I barely survived these two months thinking you were gone. Do you think I love you any less? That your love is somehow better and the only one that should matter? How could I ever possibly be happy with anyone else? Or anywhere else but next to you!"

He tried to wipe away her tears.

She pushed his hands away. "Tell me you won't ever leave me!"

"Y/n..."

"Say it!"

He looked tormented, but he slowly nodded. "I won't ever leave you."

Her heart wouldn't calm down from the sick thudding due to fear.