Red Christmas

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1984 Dec 24

Somewhere near NORAD

F-22 callsign (Werewolf 1)

A jet can be seen patrolling over CSA airspace. It had been mostly quiet, and he was finishing up with his patrol so he could get back to his wife and kids. But all of a sudden, something seemed to glow in the sky just 500 feet above him.

Bishop: Magic, we have a situation here.

Magic: Werewolf, we read you loud and clear what seems to be the problem?

Bishop: An unknown bogey sighted 12 high at 10,000 ft.

Magic: Standby.............. Negative, Werewolf' we aren't getting any signatures on our radar.

Bishop: Magic, that's impossible! It's right in front of me!

Magic: Can you identify the bogey?

Bishop: Negative Magic, it's glowing bright red.

Magic: Did you try hailing it on the radio?

Bishop: Affirmative!

Magic: Then you have clearance to down the possible stealth plane.

Bishop: Fox 2!!!

Meanwhile, in Stealth aircraft codenamed (Sleigh)

???: Hohoho!!! Done with the west coast guess it's time to head to Ohio.

Suddenly a missile sped through the clouds that the unknown pilot sighted.

???: OHHHHHH NOOOOOO!!!

*Boom*

A few hours later.

Two agents can be seen reviewing the strange man who piloted an unknown stealth aircraft over CSA territory.

Agent: Has he said anything yet?

Enty: He said his name was Santa, but he told us he has many names.

Agent: Let's head inside.

As they went in, "Santa" looked at them with a joyful smile.

Santa: Why, hello there,

Enty: I want to wrap this up quickly. So... you better answer our questions. What's your name?

Santa: My name is Santa.

Enty: You said your name was Nicholas.

Santa: I am known by many names.

Enty: It's a code: he's obviously a spy.

Agent: Tell us about your fighter plane.

Santa: The sleigh?

Agent: Why didn't it appear on the radar?

Santa: It's because of the magic! You se-

Agent: Shut the f*ck up!!!

Santa: Whoah now! Watch your language; you wouldn't want to set a bad example for little Mary and James.

Agent: HOW DO YOU KNOW MY CHILDREN'S NAMES YOU SICK SON OF A B*TCH?!

Enty places a hand on the agent.

Enty: What are you doing in America?

Santa: I deliver presents!

Enty: For who?

Santa: Well, to all the children in the world.

Agent: The children of the world?

Enty: In return for what?

Santa: Well, nothing...

A and E: Nothing...? So... You are communist?

Santa: Да.

Santa: Why do you think I wear red, comrade?

Enty gestures for the soldier next to them.

Enty: Hand me a six-pack of beer, a bottle of Vodka, cookies, and milk.

Santa: Merry Christmas, comrade.

Enty: We may not see eye to eye with you Russians, but we will make you the exception since it's for the children.

They both shake each other's hands before they sat down to take a short break, drinking and eating.

Merry Christmas, comrades!!!

...

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