Remember Me

Chapter Two: The Note

~•~

I just sat there, on my fluffy carpet with its light coat of dust, completely stunned into silence. I was so incredibly happy, not to mention relieved, to see this reminder of Jordan. However, there was also an underlining dash of fear in the mix, and I couldn't quite work it out then. But seeing Jordan's handwriting had struck a bit of fear into me. I didn't know what I was going to read, and weirdly, I was terrified of what I'd see.

As I scanned through the note, my hands started shaking, and I read it again, much more thoroughly. Then again. And again.

It was so strange. Such a confused sounding mess, I didn't know how to react.

Tanya-

Help me.

I'm confused. Baffled. So confused and baffled I can't think of another word that means confused. No, wait. Puzzled. Bewildered. Dubious? No, dubious is hesitation. But the others, I agree with.

I can't explain this to you in person. I clearly can't even explain on paper. I don't want you to find this but I do. I want help but I don't. I can't explain anything and my brain is messed up and I'm mad because I wanted this to be smart and well written but it's just as shit as me.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what I'm writing.

Ignore the help. Come to think of it, I don't want it.

-Jordan.

I didn't know how else to react. I wanted to scream, cry, rip my hair out. Now I was just plainly confused, and also concerned, plus, slightly suspicious.

I pulled out my phone and called James.

~•~

James frowned, reading through it yet again. "Yeah, she was upset, and confused, clearly. This must've been an off day for her when she left it," he said, rather half heartedly.

I raised my eyebrows. "James! This is a clue. Why aren't you excited?"

"A clue?" James looked like he almost wanted to laugh, but couldn't, because he was so confused. "A clue... Tanya, you know, you're not Sherlock Holmes, right?"

"Pfft, yes I am. You can be my John," I joked, before going back to the matter at hand, thrusting the piece of paper into his face. "Seriously! You've read it. She sounds so unhappy."

"Sure it wasn't just an angsty teenage moment?" He asked hesitantly, sighing, as by now, James knew me well, and knew that a dull answer like that would not be satisfying.

"Jordan wasn't like that," I reminded him desperately. "I knew her. This is her genuinely upset. She needed someone, and I couldn't even tell..." I shudder, ignoring those thoughts at the back of my mind.

James nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Okay. You're right. She wouldn't have written this out of the blue, she was genuinely hurting, for a while, most likely." He smiled weakly, readying himself for my answer. "So, what are you thinking?"

"It wasn't an accident," I declared defiantly. It had hit me when I was on the phone to James earlier. A note like this, from someone as strong as Jordan, a few weeks before her death. She was scared of something, someone. Maybe it was intentional, perhaps it wasn't. I knew what had happened, but even so, as I said it, I felt a pain in my stomach. "Murder."

James' eyes widened, and I'm still not sure exactly which emotion he was feeling. Perhaps shock, maybe realisation, it could even be amusement, thinking I was in over my head. He just shook his head, exhaling a deep breath. "Tanya..."