Remember Me

Chapter Three: The Drugs

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I froze, completely and utterly shell shocked. Jordan, who never drank, never smoked, never did anything like this. Drugs? That was completely out of character.

But as I thought about it more, I considered, was it really out of character? Jordan did like to rebel, defy authority, disobey the rules and all- but she wouldn't do anything that would affect her fitness. And what would affect it more than drugs?

Plus, in the days, weeks, months leading up to her death, Jordan hadn't seemed very different. Granted, I'd never spent a lot of time with someone on drugs, but surely there would be a great difference in their personality?

We all just stood there, frowning at Richard, whom raised an eyebrow slightly. "Something else you didn't know? Crap... sorry."

"No, it's okay," I assured him, taking a deep breath. "We need to know this stuff."

"She was really on drugs?" Skylar asked, still looking visibly shell shocked. "For how long? Y'know, before she died?"

"Um... so me and Jordan got together in September. Yeah we were good in the New Year, until around February time. Yeah, start of February was when she started doing drugs."

"Around two months before she died," Madison noted, nodding, a slight frown still etched across her forehead. "How bad would you say it was?"

Richard hesitated, glancing at us all. "You're fifteen years old, I don't know if you'd want to hear-"

"Do not say fifteen is too young for anything, you slept with a fifteen year old," I snapped, for in that moment, I had absolutely no control in what I was saying- I didn't think about how rude it sounded, or how upset it could've made him. Then I came to my senses, put my hand over my mouth and shook my head. "I'm sorry, I-"

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair, chuckling ever so slightly. "No, don't be. You're right, Jordan was in this little friendship gang you three have got going on and I told her things I probably shouldn't have been telling my fifteen year old student."

"You did things with the fifteen year old you really shouldn't have, too," Madison pointed out, and he nodded, sighing.

"Yeah, we did... God, you guys are really trying to make me feel bad about this, aren't you?!" Richard exclaimed, though he was smiling. I think he was joking. "And I'm really sorry I didn't stop her doing drugs. Believe me, I tried, constantly, to try and talk her out of it. But towards the end of our relationship she was just really freaking out- she kept insisting I didn't love her, that I was cheating on her. She broke down in front of me all the time, and when I tried to comfort her she screamed at me, then cried because she freaked out I'd leave her. I didn't stop loving her, I never will, she was just... a mess. And so one night I couldn't take it anymore so I told her we had to break up-"

"How soon before she died?" Madison questioned, and I nodded at her. Good question, I'd almost forgotten to ask.

"Er, we split right at the end of March. She kept trying to apologise, try to get us together again, but it wasn't working out. She wasn't okay, and it was really stressful trying to sort her out all the time. You're not mad at me, are you?"

"No, of course not," I assured him, though I was annoyed. She was clearly desperate, incredibly upset and wanted security. Couldn't he have given her that, instead of leaving her alone in the last weeks of her life, knowing she was taking life threatening drugs?

Then I became slightly irritated at Jordan, whom wasn't even a living being anymore, so it was rather pointless, but I was still mad. Why had she always gone to him for help? I get it, maybe she'd loved him or whatever, but I was her best friend. She could've at least told me she was doing drugs, I would've helped, I would've sorted it out better than him. But clearly, looking back, I wasn't Jordan's best friend, because she didn't trust me with anything. She'd refused to tell me she'd started doing drugs, and there was absolutely no mention of her dating our music teacher. And how had she hidden it all so well? Surely I would have noticed, I saw her almost every day.