Spencer Reid is trans

Chapter one

Spencer wasn't doing great. He hadn't been doing great since yesterday. He'd been hit with a huge wave of dysphoria and, to top it all off, it was around the same time of year when he got kidnapped by Tobias Hankel and he'd been feeling off. He'd been getting certain- urges again. Spencer didn't know how he could stop them he only ignored them. Logically, Spencer knew there was an answer- and Spencer did not like that one. He tended not to dwell on it for long. So instead, he put his binder on and took a deep breath, or as deep as you can have with a binder on, and he left for work.

Thankfully his team hadn't noticed his odd behaviour, although it's only been two days. If this continued any longer, logically his team would notice and they would berate him with questions. Spencer went to work as usual and had his regular coffee and extra sugar. His sleeves rolled down under his elbow, also as usual, but somehow someway Morgan knew something was off with the boy genius.

"Pretty boy," Morgan said, approaching the younger man. Reid simply looked up at the older agent with an awkward smile placed on his face. "How's it going?" Morgan asked.

"I'm going good," Reid replied somewhat plainly. Morgan nodded, sensing Reid was done talking to him.

Reid walked back to his desk. Nothing wrong with a coworker asking how he was. It's normal after all, especially in their line of work. But something about this time felt different... off somehow. Spencer decided not to dwell on it, he had paperwork to get done. As soon as it was clock-off time, Spencer put his leftover work, which wasn't much, in his messenger bag and left for home, something in the back of his mind festering... itching.

Spencer tried to ignore it but he couldn't, it wouldn't let up. So eventually, he decided he'd do it, just this once, he said to himself. Spencer gently dragged a blade across his inner elbow, the same spot where he'd normally inject diladid. Spencer felt a sort of relief. Not the same as when he took diladid, but similar. It took around ten minutes before what Spencer had done set in.

"Shit," he mumbled under his breath. Even though nobody could hear him, it felt wrong to swear out loud. Spencer had bandaged his arm and rolled his sleeve down. He had work in the morning so he flopped into his bed, letting the soft lull of sleep pull him under.

It wasn't until six in the morning when the wretched screeching of Spencer's alarm woke him from his blissful slumber. Spencer groaned before dragging himself out of the warm comfort of his bed and into the alerting coldness of his dark apartment. Spencer got dressed quickly so he could get to work early to finish all his paperwork so he could go home early. Which wasn't in the norm for the genius who usually stayed late to do the others' work... it was just this time of the year making him feel so down. Plus his dysphoria was getting bad again. Maybe Spencer needed to see someone...he shivered at the thought. He hated the idea of talking to someone, being so close to that many germs... Spencer shooed away the idea. He wasn't going to see anyone for anything, even if he was getting bad. He finished getting dressed and left for work.

Spencer entered the bullpen. He got some of the bau issued coffee and loaded it with sugar to keep him awake and his mind active. It was about four hours into work and Spencer had gotten all his work done. He was kind of bored, so he pulled out a book he'd read probably six different times before, just to occupy his mind and his hands. Eventually, at around chapter sixteen, he got up to make some more coffee before being stopped by Garcia.

"Boy wonder!" Her bubbly voice stopped Reid in his tracks. Reid turned to face the tech analyst before being pulled into a hug. He was trying not to wince when his inner elbow was touched. Obviously, Garcia had forgotten the 'no hug' rule with Reid. While some hugs were okay, sometimes you had to ask first.

"Hey Garcia," Reid said while feigning a smile.

"What is my wonderful boy genius up to?" Garcia asked, still keeping her bright smile.

"Well I've just finished all my paperwork and now I'm going to make some more coffee," Reid said with a small smile tugging softly at the corners of his mouth. The bubbly tech analyst nodded before pulling Reid into one last hug and left.