Guiltale

Chapter Fifteen: Frozen Shut

I sat on a log out in the forest surrounding Snowdin, away from curious eyes and ears. Sipping my hot chocolate, I hummed to myself - or rather, to myself and Chara. It took a few minutes for her to get impatient with me.

"Sooo... are you going to explain what just happened, or are you going to be cryptic like that comédienne?" She folded her arms, staring holes into my half-closed eyes. I sighed loudly.

"It's... it's not exactly... something I have an easy time explaining, Chara. Not even my own mother knew. The only person in the world I felt comfortable telling was my big brother, and I shared everything with him. When I was really young, I used to promise my family that if I ever got superpowers I'd tell them, but... it's totally different, seeing the task in reality. You suddenly wonder how much it'll change their worldview, what they'll do, if they'll fear you... it's..." I made an exasperated noise. "You know?"

"Superpowers? You can do real magic?" Chara's eyes lit up.

I frowned, taking a long sip of cocoa. "...That's all you got from my vulnerable speach?"

"I don't... I don't like using it. I-"

"Why didn't you tell maman, then?" Chara perked up. "She could've taught you to use it and stuff!"

"It's, uh, not all that special. I'm not sure if I can even do dama-"

"I'm so jealous, Grace. I wish I could've had magic to play with Asr-"

"N O ."

I stood, letting my chocolate fall to the ground. Chara fell backwards in shock.

"...Grace...?"

"You can't understand how this feels." I turned around. I didn't want her to see... the burning. "Spending You spend every moment wondering if you're doing enough - whether that's taking responsibility for your power, or keeping it in check. I'm not a kind-hearted monster, I'm a hormone-fueled, angry, spiteful human. I'm not - I wasn't ready for power like this when I was sixteen, and having no one at all who can relate or teach or help me with it... that doesn't help at all! All I can do is try to keep it contained and secret until I'm all alone!
"That's the thing, Chara! I'm already alone!
"...
"I had the power to save them, Chara. I know it. My arrogance cost me my whole life, and you-" I turned to face her, tears stinging my eyes and blurring my vision. "You're jealous? Of me? You want to play with what's become a symbol of my faliure at being responsible for myself!"

I knew I was going too far. Chara didn't deserve me yelling at her. She'd never understand me if I refused to be direct. I knew. But I couldn't care.

...

Why was Chara...

blue?

She wasn't transluscent anymore. I stumbled back, suddenly realizing what I'd done. I hadn't noticed my outstretched arm before, but now I could feel the magic pouring through my arteries. My fingers were glowing blue, and I could feel a weight in my hand that you couldn't see. Chara was squirming - I could feel it shaking the bond to my hand - and she began to shiver. There was some spurts of power all around me, connected, but I couldn't make myself look at them. All I saw was little flecks of yellow in the corners of my eyes.

"Aïe! It's heavy in... where?" Chara vainly tried to grab her own SOUL. "The air... it's so cold... Grace, don't let go!"

I stared blankly.

Suddenly realizing what was happening, I threw her into the snow, attempting to let go.

"Grace!" Chara complained, floating towards me.

I heaved dryly towards the ground, holding onto a nearby tree and attempting to keep from actually puking (since all that'd be left would be stomach acid, since monster food doesn't make it to the stomach.). Chara fused with me a little, attempting to calm me down.