Citrus: Mei's Story+Matsuri volume 3 - Impulsive Heart

V. Mei - Lost Chances

           Finals were next week. And after that was summer break. The past month had been a blur of school and trying to set up things for the change over once I found my successor as the student council president. There were moments of bliss with Yuzu to break up the typical routine of academics and business meetings.
         Another curious thing that I noticed was hearing how Harumi would disappear during breaks and my own observations of her and Matsuri always stepping away from each other as people showed up or they entered public spaces. It felt familiar, and yet neither of them seemed to become as stressed or distracted as Yuzu and I had shortly after settling into being a couple at the start of our second year. Neither of them talked about it or did anything to let on what was happening. They just would disappear or I'd see comments from teachers about an increase in lateness to classes, all while both seemed a little happier than they were before all the chaos with Sayaka. So I let them be.
         However, it meant was that today they were both unavailable for some reason and while I was studying and doing work, Yuzu was having to keep herself busy. I thought it was going to be a return to her over zealous study habits because she had been so relaxed since Matsuri returned to the school. I was apparently wrong. I was pulled out of my books and papers by a snarl of aggravation.
         "I lost again!"
         Sitting across from me at the table, Mother looked up from the magazine she had been reading. She was waiting for Naruka to get home so they could go on a date. Behind me on the other side of the sofa, Yuzu was apparently having a fit now.
         "Whoever made this game hates me personally!"
          There was a doleful sound, and when I looked her way I saw the screen fading to black as the words you died appeared in blood red letters.
           "Seriously?"
           Instead of a menu screen or a continue prompt, the screen cut to a woman in rather clunky mismatched western armour standing up from sitting next to a lit bonfire.
        "I'm so pissed!"
         Yuzu growled as she made the woman run through a tower full of snake people and ridiculous traps until she got to a door of fog. When the character went through it, she was outside and facing a giant soldier made of iron if the name was any indication. She let out another snarl.
           "I gotta beat this thing! I won't give up until I do! Let's gooo!"
           As she finished with a charging call, she made her character rush the massive opponent. I had no idea how the game operated, but somehow I had the impression that she was going to be flattened. A moment later, she was actually flung off the tower's edge instead. It was strangely vindicating to have seen it coming. Yuzu didn't share my thoughts though.
          "What?!"
          She let out a feral growl, and for some reason that time it really annoyed me. It looked like such an obvious mistake that led to her failure, but she was getting petulant and disruptive instead of strategising. Or better yet, studying.
         "Be quiet."
         Yuzu paused her game just as it started again at the exact same spot as before, and gaped at me. I met her gaze without flinching. It seemed so obvious to me that she was overreacting. It was just some game, and it didn't look that good to me. Not with its clear impossible obstacles. I tried not to let any more of my frustration actually show.
          "If you don't like it, then turn it off."
          It seemed to work—at least Yuzu didn't keep looking like I had slapped her—because she flopped onto the sofa a little dramatically and whined.
         "I knooow! But I can't leave it without beating it!"
          I let out a long sigh. Since getting this game, Yuzu had been this frustrated whenever she got to some boss. And she had been playing it for hours already. It wouldn't have bothered me so much if she had been studying with me to let me know how she was doing with each subject. But lately she had been seeming more like the Yuzu I had known before my first challenge to make it as a part of the top one hundred of our year. Right now she was number eleven in the rankings, but I wasn't sure that would hold. I felt like something had to be done to keep her on task. I just needed to be delicate.
         "By the way, I haven't seen you studying very much lately."
         Instead of responding, Yuzu just returned to her game in pointed silence. She was avoiding answering. Avoiding the discussion of her grades. They were actually good, but to be assured of her goal she needed to do just a little bit better. If she actually wanted to go to the same university as me. I was still a little ambivalent about it. I didn't know what career she had wanted to pursue, but I wasn't sure her clinging to me—as adorable and sweet as it was—would be the best reason to go to a tough school. Especially if she wasn't taking preparations seriously.
        "At this rate, do you honestly think you can get into the same university as me?"
        I knew she could if she tried, but I wanted her to think about it and not take it as a fact without effort. She paused the game just as her character died yet again. This time she set the controller down.
       "It's not that I've given up or anything..."
       She turned on the sofa, rested her chin on the back cushion as she lounged, and looked towards me.
       "But Mei, don't you get tired of studying sometimes?"
       I didn't roll my eyes, even though I wanted to. It sounded like she was trying to make an excuse for being lazy. But it was too late for her to slack off after all her effort before and the tough bar she still had to clear.
        "On the contrary, don't you get tired from playing around all the time?"
         It wasn't fair. She wasn't goofing off all the time, and her grades weren't slipping or anything. I was being hyperbolic. I just didn't want her to take this lightly. Still I was surprised when she just smiled at me.
        "Good point."
        It is? I mean, of course it is. That's why I said it, even if it was patently untrue.
       "I've been playing to take a break, but you're right. I should get serious."
        I could only stare at her. There was no argument. It wasn't a problem at all. She probably had been studying on her own, if I had to guess. She did have times when she wasn't with me, so I could have just assumed that she was avoiding her studies. I was just missing her studying with me. I missed her being with me. It wasn't like she avoided me or our time together had lessened at all. If anything we spent more time together now than we ever had, but it was not enough. Forever was probably not enough anymore either. I was getting way too greedy. But then in times like these—when she was being healthy and taking a break from schoolwork—I hadn't tried to share that with her very often. Maybe I was the one being lazy about something important.
       "True. When it comes to things I haven't experienced..."
       I gestured towards the violent game before I rose from my chair and walked towards the side of the sofa.
       "I know it's best to not always take the opposing view based on assumptions."
        After all, that was why Grandfather went so far to try to separate us. Why Himeko hated you at first. And why Matsuri hated me when she met me.
       It was hilarious to think about it in that way but it was true. But before I could get to where I was trying to go, Yuzu gave me a confused look.
       "Huh?"
       I pushed forward as though she hadn't interrupted.
       "Since I get to spend time with you, Yuzu, teach me to play that game."
       Yuzu looked at me in shock and then a giant grin spread across her cheeks. She quickly turned around and let her character die. As soon as the game reset she quit and opened up the title menu to start a new game. I sat beside her and watched the opening video that explained the story. It all seemed convoluted and odd. I knew it set up the world but I still wasn't sure how much such ancient sounding history would impact the actual game. Afterward Yuzu helped me create my character—I chose to make a wizard instead of a knight and tried to make my character look more like myself despite its limitations—and I started playing. At first it was a little boring. I was following prompts on the ground to complete a tutorial. And then I opened a set of giant doors and Yuzu started grinning maliciously.
          That was when I learned exactly how true her declaration about the developers hating the players actually was.
           I was not prepared for the fight with the giant creature and died pretty quickly. The game reset to just before I opened the door and this time a little scene pointed out that a side door was open. So I ditched the fight and continued the tutorial. From then onwards I was sucked in. Slowly I got used to the controls and made decent progress. After meeting the second boss, I decided to get serious. I paused the game and grabbed a notebook. Watching Yuzu earlier had given me a clue. Dying a few times gave me a theory. It was all about pattern recognition and timing. It didn't matter how many times I died. I learned something new about the boss. Then it became very easy to beat it. It also let me know exactly how Yuzu had struggled with the bosses. Everyone did. Someone watching might have the luxury of spotting all the things needed to beat them, but when I played it was harder to remember them. I also found it impossible not to get so immersed in the game that I moved the controller like I was actually doing the physical actions.
         I made my way through the game at a steady pace and even reached the same boss that Yuzu had. Mother had let out a whistle when I had faced a certain boss and even yelled at me for skipping the cutscene after their lava had killed me in the first few moves. I understood that the top half was a gorgeous woman who was only covered by her long hair, but the lower half was a demon spider. No amount of lust could make me care enough to ignore that. Thankfully being a wizard was perfect against her because I could snipe at her from a distance. I also learned how to summon meat shields in the form of npc allies. So I was able to distract the creature and kill it from a distance. Mother had booed me for beating that one.
        Facing the giant iron soldier was another matter entirely. The platform was way too tiny and it was huge. I struggled for a good while. Yuzu cheered me on louder than for any other boss fight. I had to make all the notes and use all my skills to finally take it down. When I finished. I handed that page to Yuzu so she could have a little more information when she faced him herself. And then I proceeded until I was able to rest at a save point. That was when Mother spoke up.
       "Can we get dinner started, you two?"
       Yuzu groaned.
       "Okaaay!"
       I put the controller down and turned to look at my fiancé. I had been too wrapped up in the game to notice that she had apparently gotten hit by my movements. I was a little afraid of how much more damage she'd take if we continued.
       "Yuzu, come on. Let's stop here for now."
       "Oh."
       She blinked at me, apparently catching that I was talking like we'd pick the game up again later. She had been right. It was pretty good to take a break from studying beyond eating or something truly restful. She beamed at me.
       "Sure!"
       We got up and helped Mother get dinner ready before Naruka arrived and they left to go on their date. We ate quickly and cleaned up before going to sit on the sofa and and play a little more of the game. Yuzu laughed at one point. Out of nowhere. I had just been walking around. So it made me curious.
       "What now?"
       "Oh, nothing."
       I didn't believe her. But then she leaned against me like we were watching a romantic movie or fireworks or something beautiful instead of my wizard struggling against the creatures in this apparent heavenly realm. It made me feel like this was something we could look forward to if we did get into the same school. But as soon as I decided to stop playing, she pounced with the price for helping me figure out the unspoken tricks of boss prep as she had called it.
       "Hey, Mei? Can you take a look at my homework tonight?"
        I blinked at her. That was the last thing I had expected. I was a little disappointed that she was being so responsible when I was wanting to just use the rest of the night to make out. But I couldn't really get mad at her after making a big deal about her needing to take her studies seriously earlier.
        "Alright, if you want."
        She squealed in delight, but I took her hand to get her attention.
        "Go get it and bring it out here so we can look at it together."
        When she did as I asked, I had her lounge on the sofa with her back propped up by the arm. And then and got comfortable on her lap so that our heads would be next to each other. Then I looked over her homework. For each right answer, I gave her a quick kiss. We got through it pretty quickly and she had a lot of right answers. I decided that she deserved more kisses for it.