Bloody affairs (18+)

014

ZYLITH ✨🩰

I sniffle hard, the sudden force a pain to the middle of my forehead. I wince, gently touching the soft skin that panged with hurt at my fingertips slight touch; no doubt a bruise being the cause.

I push myself up from the lush couch, careful to avoid the pressure points of the many bruises that litter my skin. The penthouse is draped in a peaceful quiet accompanied by a hollow darkness that causes me to realize that I'm alone.

I slip from the mountain of blankets, the lack of warmth hitting me like a brick wall. But I wrap my arms around myself, bundling up the baggy shirt Grady had given to me.

I tiptoe to the window, gently pressing my hand against the pane. Sheets of rain are angrily pelting at the glass as if it's trying to claw its way inside. A light rumble shakes the penthouse as a streak of light dances across the sky.

I take a deep breath in as my eyes wander the blurred lights of the city below before I impulsively turn around and snatch a jacket off the coat rack. I make my way towards the front door, exit, and let it softly click closed as I pull the jacket on.

I then dash through the hall into the elevator. I wrap the jacket tightly across my frame. The material engulfs me as if I hold no matter.

I push through the lobby with my eyes downcast. I break through the front glass doors of the building. The wind howls as it pushes against me. The biting cold makes me hug myself tighter.

The rain cuts at my skin as I make my way down the street. My hair is already soaked through and my clothes aren't too far behind.

I reach into the pocket of the sweatpants Grady loaned me only to groan in disappointment. I left my phone back at his house. I mentally shoo the thought away and push past the crowd of people.

I look up at the gleaming towers of uptown New York, the sight making me dizzy. I push back my wet hair as the wind whirls it around my head.

I probably walked aimlessly for thirty minutes before I realize I'm at the opera house. And then I stood in front of the opera house for another five. I try the doors but they're locked.

I sigh harshly, the puff of air visible in the cold, but the action itself causing the tightness in my chest to expand. I lightly stumble back, and look up.

I watch as the rain falls. I take a deep breath in, still looking towards the sky. I lift my arms and realize the jacket I'm wearing is weighing me down too much.

So I shake it off.

It plops down into the parking lot. I watch as the rain hits the material; some drops soaking in, some rolling off.

I lift my arms again into a dancing position. Lightning strikes across the sky, lighting up the parking lot as I twirl. A deep rumble follows after, seemingly reverberating through my chest.

I leap, but another strike of lightning slams through me. My feet meet the ground but my aching muscles give. I fall back into the rain, my butt hits the concrete and a soft wail escapes my lips. The concrete is warm despite the icy chill of the downpour. My hair covers my face and I can feel my clothes sticking to the curves of my body like a second skin.

Warm tears overflow from my eyes. They trickle down the side of my face and over my temples, the tears so thick they don't even need me to blink to fall.

I lay there for I don't know how long. Sobs lodge themselves in my throat but I hold them back.

It's just so exhausting to live the way I do. Living in hopes that an escape will show itself through the one thing I love, for it only to be completely ruined by the single off chance of someone showing an interest in me.

To go from completely alone, only accompanied by the bruises and pain of both ballet and the hands of a man I used to expect would protect me; not be the thing I needed protection from.

I don't even remember a life before the beatings. Hell, the only reason I'm able to leave the house is because I'm the one who pays the bills.

But I'm not helpless, and I think that's the most frustrating part about all of this. The fact that I've been able to handle myself this far. I didn't need a savior.

But the one person who I would never want to see me the way he saw me, the one person who I thought I could actually have normal human interactions with, ended up being the reason my life is in shambles.

He thinks he saved me, and he threw himself into harms way for a girl he had just met; but he also put me into more trouble, shattering my only source of light in the dark space I was in.

I no longer have ballet to turn to. No more endless nights of ripping my feet apart to perfect a leap and no more performances; getting lost in the music as it felt as if I was flying instead of jumping.

That audition Grady made me miss was my only way into the Red Shoes Ballet, and yeah it may be a bitch move to blame it on him, but after all I've been through I can't keep blaming myself.

I haven't been even close enough to commuting the sort of evil that would require this kind of karma.

Regardless, the audition was so the judges could pick the best candidates for the actual Red Shoes audition. I had to be there, and be picked to even be considered good enough for the Red Ballet.

The Red Shoes was my one way ticket out of here. I would have been on the road for eight months out of the year, and if I decided to, I'd be able to go on tour with other shows or promote the Red Shoes in of itself for the next four.

And now my chance is gone. The window is closed and so's that door; I don't know if I can do this anymore. 

After my chest stops heaving and my breath begins to even, I wait for the rain to mix with my tears and wash the evidence of my pain away.

When I feel that I'm calm enough, I push myself from the pavement and wince as the textured concrete scrapes at my skin. The wind is billowing around me, my clothes cling to my skin because of the rain.
I notice the material is a bit see through and cover my arms over my chest. I make a sharp exhale before pushing myself forward.

I look around at my surroundings before deciding that I couldn't possibly go back to Grady's; I have too much on my mind to be able to be around someone else, especially when I'm so angry at them.

So I begin to make my way towards the apartment complex. With each step, dread seeps deeper into my heart. Gravity seems to become stronger and my blood sounds as if it rushes quicker through my ears.

The next thing that follows though, I can't tell if it was a nightmare coming true or my saving Grace; all I know is that Grady saved my life once more, maybe even making it worth living.