darling

chasing cars (j.m.)

FOR THE RECORD THIS CHAPTER WAS PLANNED BEFORE 5SOS COVERED CHASING CARS BUT SINCE THEY DID I FEEL LIKE I AM CONNECTED TO THEM DON'T JUDGE ME LOL OKAY NOW ON TO THE UPDATE

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"if you stare at those stars any longer they might lose their shine," isabel spoke softly and i found my gaze shifting upwards to see where she was standing. her hair was in loose waves that ran down her back effortlessly. she looked so much like her that some days i was scared i'd call isabel by the wrong name. "so that's what all the fuss is about? that infamous red moon," she continued speaking, completely disregarding my lack of response. "it doesn't look like much, but then again things don't have to be so extravagant to be breathtaking."

she fell silent right after and sat next to me on the concrete rooftop. i'd gotten various scrapes and cuts from coming up here so often after she left.

"what was she like?" i heard isabel ask after a few minutes of silence.

did i want to answer her? should i tell her of their resemblances and disparities? should i confess how every minute i spent with her was something i looked forward to and how every time i left her at the foot of her door i was consumed with sadness and eagerness to see her all over again. did i want to tell isabel how i was feeling that way once more? how she was igniting a fire i thought was extinguished long ago? isabel was her. isabel was carina.

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

"someone's exited," i said teasingly. my eyebrows raising in complete amusement of isa's love of concerts.

"well aren't you excited too?" she asked me genuinely.

was i? i hadn't been to a concert in a very long time. the last time i had been to one was with carina and i had no intention of reliving any of those memories, not tonight-not ever.

isabel took my hand and led me further into the venue. she was on the hunt for the perfect spot. she was so short and even with platform boots she was shorter than the average person-she was still shorter than me and I found it quite endearing.

she finally settled on a spot second row, side stage. she had dragged me out of bed extremely early just so we'd get a good view. i didn't understand her reasoning but watching as the room began to fill up i understood that her shortness was reason number one for her determination. and as the show started i understood her second reason. there was something just so intimate about these crowded shows. the blue lights in the room were bouncing off of happy strangers faces and i'd never seen something so beautiful.

a room full of content people was almost unimaginable but when i looked at those surrounding us and at isa's glowing face i knew this was where she felt at ease. she forgot her struggles and she just let herself go in the rhythm of the music.

"and is it home somewhere you call your own." i heard the lead singer harmonize and my body went stiff. carina. i was with isabel and at her most vulnerable and it was her that somehow remained on my mind. "are you happy now? just know that i'll always be with you."