She didn't say anything else and walked inside, she came out with myra in a couple minutes. The whole ride home was her talking to myra and completely ignoring me.
When we got home she took myra upstairs and got her changed, she cooked with myra and fed her while they were watching tv.
I finished up some of my presentation work and then around 9ish I walked in the room to find myra a sleep in her crib and Nandini putting lotion on her tummy which is something I usually force her to do so she doens't get stretch marks
"Nandini"
"Did you figure it out" she asked and I sighed
"I don't know what you want"
"Mani it's not that hard to give me what I want" she said walking to me
"I just can't nandini"
"Why not" she asks
"Because I can't why is that so hard to understand" I asked
"It's not but"
"But what" I asked
She walked closer to me holding onto my arm, she leaned closer making my breath hitch a little. There is something about her presence and then there is something completely different about her when she is this close to me
I have never had a girl make me feel nervous and excited at the same time, I saw her eyeing my lips and gosh the urge to kiss her lips was almost overpowering at this point
"But every time I come close to you, every time I touch you, your eyes speak a different language. They show what you really want yet you hold back" she said
I cursed myself in my head at how quickly I had let her in and how my emotions are visible to her only
"Nandini"
"No Manik, you say you can't love me, fair enough but why do you take care of me like this then"
"Because you are my wife and our baby is literally growing inside you"
"So this is because I have a child in me" she asked
"Why are you ruining this day, we were having such a good day"
"Im sorry for ruining your day"
"Why are you doing this" I asked
"You call me Jaan, why? You clearly only care about the baby so call him stuff not me"
"Where is this coming from" I asked
"No where actually, forget I even said anything" she said moving away
"Jaan tum kyu esai soch rahi ho"
"Don't, do not call me that, not until you can figure out this crap"
"I can't tell you that I love you Nandini"
"Gosh, Manik im not asking you to tell me that, im saying tell me you can give me a chance, tell me you think of me as more than a person living with you, more than your daughter's mom, and more than your future kid's mom" she said
Does she not know I admire her, I like her a lot but love only hurts, and I am not losing nandini ever.
"Nandini" I called and she turned back
"Ill bring you food"
"Don't, ill get it but can we talk"
"Sure" she said
I love how respectful she is with me even when she is frustrated
"How about you eat and then we can talk"
"Sounds good" I said
"Ill bring you food, go get into comfortable clothing" she said
I nodded and she went down. When I came out from changing she was sitting on the bed with the food.
"Here" she said
I started eating and she did too, she took a few bites from my plate.
It was silent until myra woke up crying
"Mumma" she cried
"Shhh whats wrong baby" nandini was quick to sit beside her
"Mumma"
"Sh shh myra whats wrong"
"Bad bad" she cried
"Did my baby have a bad dream" nandini cooed kissing her head
Myra nodded and nandini pulled her closer kissing her head
"You are okay, see papa is also here and you know how strong papa is right"
"Papa fight monsters"
"Exactly so why is my pumpkin scared"
"No myra no scared" she said cuddling to nandini
Nandini rocked her back and forth for a little bit and she fell back a sleep, kissing her head Nandini placed her in her crib again.
I washed my dishes and brushed. Coming out of the bathroom I saw Nandini sitting on the couch reading some novel.
"Can we talk" I asked
"Of course come sit" she said
I sat beside her and took a deep breath
"Mani it's not hard to pick up on your behaviour, you hold me when we sleep, you rub my back when it hurts, you kiss my head, you feed me food, you bare my tantrums, you talk to me so softly, you call me Jaan. How am I wrong to think you like me?" She asked
"I do like you Nandini, but when I loved something in the past I lost them when I most needed their support, when I broke apart, when I came undone I was alone. Jaan you are someone whom I never wanna lose and love only makes you lose people but I can't lose you. Love is a very hard word for me to process and digest so when you come and ask me about love I freeze, I don't know what to tell you"
"Tell me you can't love me every day Manik jsut to remind me that if I ever, ever in my lifetime fall in love with you, I won't get anything back"
It broke my heart hearing her say that
"Talk to me mani, you only said this is how it works and I have been thinking about this the past week"
"I want to love Nandini, I want to feel what it feels like to be in love, I want to get over my past"
"Will you give me a chance" she asked
"You have always had a chance jaan, I just need to process everything in my head"
"So there is a potential you will love me like a husband loves his wife" she asked
"There is always hope Nandini"
She scouted closer and grabbed my hand
"I understand it is difficult, trust me I understand how screwed up pasts can be but can we work on this, can we take one step at a time and figure this out, not jsut yours but mine as well" she asked
"Yes but I don't ever want you to think that I don't care or im only caring and being like this for ht baby. i genuinely see us spending a lifetime together" I said d
"When you are ready and you think I should know about your past we will talk about it then okay" I nodded hearing her
"You aren't upset anymore" I asked
"I was never upset mani, I just wanted to know where I stand in your life"
"You are my life nadnini, myra, you and our baby. I live for you guys" I said and she smiled
"Samezies, ditto" she siad giggling
"Come on jaan, lets get to sleep" I told her and she there her hands to me making me smile
I picked her up and laid down with her closing the lights. I kissed myra's head and then nandini's before laying back down.
I pulled her against me and wrapped my arm around her stomach caressing.
"Goodnight mani"
"Night jaan" I whispered kissing her temple
YOU ARE READING
Second chances
RomanceShe is a sweet, chirpy, chatterbox. He is a quiet, angry monster. She isn't all rainbows and sunshine but her smile resembles pure love whereas his persona is enough to scare individuals but she is a special case. A single dad and a girl with a lot...
