Today I have sad news, our president Joe McDonald has decided that Florida will no longer be a warm state. From now and on Florida's summer temperatures won't rise over 13 Degrees Fahrenheit. Miami's citizens are protesting but McDonald refuses to change the decision. In the rest of America, I can happily say that climate change is contributing to a hotter climate. The ones who are happiest about this news are the plastic surgeons that get money for treating the skin cancers caused by the increased tanning. With the new temperatures the southern accent has reached new levels in the northern states when people from Texas have started to move from the deserts to cities that used to be cold.
Right now there is also a high pressure over Alaska. Scientists believe that the state will lose all its ice extremely soon and that Alaska's famous tuxedo penguins will soon be just as extinct as always.
Yesterday evening Spiderman released a statement saying that his web now has reached the maximum temperature and if it gets any warmer, the web will turn into candy-floss. Reporters tell me that Spiderman seemed quite mad about the news while the whole crowd here cheered over free candy-floss and the official Spiderman account had 60 million new friend requests on Twitter.
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BBC news
RandomCredit: @i_like_beef @ananasmorpher Google translate, https://translate.google.se/?hl=sv This is a muy importante news. We are aspiring to become astronauts. Plis support us and donate to us so we can fly to the moon.
