(Not shipping ofc)
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Alex: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Light: *chugs entire bottle*
Light: It’s perfume.
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Alex: Light was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Light: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.
Alex: Light, you ate a chair.
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Alex: Where are you going?
Light: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there
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Alex, tending to Light's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Light: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
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Light: *Stubs his toe* FUCK!
Alex: Mind your language!
Light: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Alex:
Light: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
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Light: What are your goals?
Alex: To pet all the dogs.
Light: No, fitness goals.
Alex: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.
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Light: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.
Alex: Light, that's a coma.
Light: Sounds festive.
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Light: What’s up guys? I’m back.
Alex: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.
Light: Death is a social construct.
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Light: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Alex: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
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Light: Someone will die.
Alex: Of fun!
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Light: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Alex: Alright, what's 30x17?
Light: 47
Alex: That's not even close.
Light: But it was fast.
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Light: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]
Alex: What's that?
Light: Remorse code.
Alex: I'm even angrier now.
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Light: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Alex: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.
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Light: I can explain.
Alex: Can you?
Light: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
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