Why?

Fuck. This.

LOUIS' POV

"Okay.. So.. Wanna talk about anything?"

The beautiful curly haired lad in front of me hesitated, giving me some more time to take in his features. His emerald Green eyes that held a million unanswered question, cute little button nose that i have planted so many admiring soft kisses upon, his plump pink lips, that I've kissed so many times with out regretting a single one of them. Oh, and how bad i wanted to kiss him now. I've wanted to kiss him for a long time now, but i haven't been alowed, weigh out risking losing him forever. His deep brown curly mop that hangs to his shoulders since he hasn't cut it for a while, but i wouldn't want him to. He's perfect, in every way.

"Kinda... But. I-i cant really address the subject." He spoke softly as if afraid of crossing some invisible barrier between us.

"Just do it. We've got a while before Liam gets here." I relied, urging him on.

"Okay.... S-so you know how you and El just broke up?"

My heart stopped, i don't know if I'm ready for this..

"Yeah.. Why?"

Great.. Just kill me now i thought to myself. I don't wanna hurt him like i know i will. 2 and 1/2 years without being able to kiss him as hold him and mess with his chocolate brown curly mop is hard enough. But now that El is gone. Here we are.. Nothing but management stopping us-

"You remember how we were before you got with her?" He slowly says, in his calmingly deep voice, snapping me from my thoughts and making me become lost in those eyes again.

I quickly regained concentration because i wanted this conversation to hurry up and end.

"Just stop." I spat at him, not recognizing my own voice. "We are nothing. What we were is the past. Thats not now. that was then."

I seen the hurt remark form on his face and his bottom lip slightly jerked into a frown. I wanted to kiss him and never let go. Ever. But i couldn't.

"B-but love just doesn't end like that.." He spoke. Stumbling over the first word since he was trying so hard not to cry.

I had to end this before i do something and get removed from the band, like Zayn did. I don't wanna lose him forever.

"It does when its fake! We'll never be together!" I quickly yelled at him, watching his face contort into a frown and i couldn't handle watching what comes next. I hurriedly got to the other side of the gas station and lowered myself down the wall out of his vantage point.

That was honestly, the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I don't like hurting him. He's my Haz. Nobody else's. Its bad enough that I've gotta hide my feelings for him. Fucking management. Its gonna be another hour till Liam gets here so.. Should be fun.

Time to just sit here and over think until my heart want to explode in a dramatic explosion.
We already lost Zayn this year, only reason we did was because he didn't wanna be with Perrie so he 'cheated' on her. I wouldn't even call it cheating. They forced him to get with a girl, Perrie was his best friend that was a female. They forced him to propose to her. They are still forcing him to be with Naughty boy. That greasy sausage, as the fans like to call him. I don't blame them though. He's an ass. And its hilarious. He thinks he's cool since he's got Zayn but honestly? Who's still texting Zayn? Who's still skyping him, calling him, Facetiming him? He didn't want to leave. They made him. And we all fucking hate it. Zayn didn't tweet what was said on his twitter towards me. That was management. Its fucking ridiculous, really.

I cant do anything about it.. I just want my hazza, but thats not gonna happen with out me getting removed from the band completely. Then what? I'll be in Zayn's position.

I look at the time on my phone. Ugh. Its only been 20 minutes. Harry is still sitting over there, and I'm pretty sure he's crying. I'm the worst person in the world. The thought of hurting him like i did makes my stomach churn.

~~~~~

I don't know what to do at this point. We've got about 5 minutes till Liam gets here since his place is a little more than an hour away. I mean. He could be here earlier or later. I just wanna get this night over with so i can go home and go to bed and try to forget that this ever happened. Honestly. I'm afraid to look at harry, even though I've scooted over so, all i have to do is lean over and i can see him. But, he's over there crying and i hate to see him like that. I cant even go comfort him with risking, losing him.

"Liam's here." I finally heard him. He Choked up on his words. He was crying so of course he did.

I cleared my throat and stood up. "Okay. Lets go." I sighed and looked at him.

His face was tear stained and all i wanted to do was grab him and kiss him. Ugh. Why do i gotta be in love with him? Its insane really.

"Come on boys. I gotta get back to Sophia and Niall. I left them at my place." Liam says eagerly.

We all know he's dating Sophia, but he still fuck Niall almost every night. But, gay sex is the best right?

Harry hops in the back seat. And i sit beside him, noticing that someone is in the front seat but i don't care enough to look. And honestly, i really don't give a fuck. Harry tenses up and my hand brushes his thigh on accident.. Well, i did it on purpose because i know it drives him crazy. I shut the door behind me and Liam was on his way.

"You boys will have to stay at Lou's place for a few nights. Harry, yours is still being repaired." Liam states, gaining a fast response from harry.

"Why cant i stay with you?"

"Because i cannot handle all the bickering you'll do. I've got stuff going on mate, so you're gonna stay with Louis. Simple."

Harry sighs dramatically, and lays his head agains the window.

"Okay..." Harry said very faintly.

Everything got quiet for excerpt for a few basic words. Awkward car rides are the worst.

~~~~~~

We pulled up at my place about an hour and 20 minutes later. Barley any talking was done for the entire car ride except when Liam stopped to get us some food, McDonalds of course. We came inside and i walked to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water and offered harry one.

"Do you want a bottle of water?" I asked speaking softly even though my voice is kinda horse after not talking for over two hours.

"Sure." The curly haired lad replied. I'll never get tired of hearing his voice.

I handed him his water and i opened mine and took a big drink, only then realizing how thirsty i actually was. "Hmm.. I wonder if i have any alcohol left.." I thought as i walked back to the kitchen.

I searched through the cabinets until i found what i was looking for. A bottle of Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, a bottle of vodka, a big bottle of Rum, and in the fridge, about 9 bottles of beer.

I garbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and opened it, and took a drink. It burned on its way down, but thats how you know you've got a good whisky. I placed my lips back around mouth of the bottle and chugged about half of the bottle and i started to get a slight buzz. Maybe i can forget for a little while.

"I'm gonna head up to my old room and go to bed Lou!" Harry shouted from the other room.

"Goodnight!" I shouted back, hearing him stomp his way up the stairs.

I looked at my watch, and Its almost 5 in the morning and here i am, in the kitchen getting fucking drunk. Oh well, i wanna forget for a little while don't i? And thats exactly what I'm gonna do.