Black Sheep

Shit... They found out

Well... it's may 9th 4:50 pm and I'm hiding in the closet (how ironic) I'm dying of embarrassment because today was the day my family found out that I'm gay Lets go back in time a little to the morning. I wake up and I play with my dog and my mom makes me food and a little while later I go to target the reason I go to target because the Internet is there and it's close by , after I finish using it I walk back home I see my mom is in my dads car waiting for me so I just get on. my mom just came back from food 4 less and she tells me did you get new headphones and I tell her "no I got these at the 99 cent store" then she gives me 11$ and says "here so you can buy new ones" I was excited and I wanted them now so I was going to go back to target so I got the food and took it to the house and my mom tells me to do the dishes and I do them then she tells me to go with my brother to take pictures because if you guys don't know today was prom then I tell her "when does I go" she says 4:50" so I have time to go get my headphones so I finish the dishes and I eat and I leave to target I get the headphones and I walk back home but before any of this happend my brother asked me " so I herd you had a girlfriend" and I said "no I don't" and then he told me "why aren't you fucking bitches" and I said "shut up" then he makes a face that I hate so much I can't explain it but he usually does it when when he thinks about something and then he says "why are you so offended" and I told him "I'm not it just... do you want me to fuck bitches and get f's in school" and then he says something but I didn't here him and I say "what" he says "nothing" and I left. I got home and there all bunched up in the dinning table and my moms eyes were red as if she was crying and my my little sister was making a face as if she was embarrassed and my big sister says "I fucked up" and I'm walking to the room putting the box of headphones under my pillow because they don't know my mom gave me money to get them and I yell from the room "what happend" and my mom calls me she says " Alex come" and she walkes to the room. I was scared to death because I didn't know what was going on and I sit on the bed and she closes the door crying, my voice wiggles like I'm about to cry and my mom says "I need to tell you something" and in my head and my heart I knew what she was going to tell me so I fall to the bed telling her "no no don't tell me I don't want to know" she say "look at me and sit up" I say " no I don't want to hear" she says "why not" and I tell her "because your crying" she says" I'm crying because of something else" then she says "fine I'll lay down to" so she did and she tells me "I know you like boys" my heart drops and my mom says "it's okay why didn't tell me in the first place" then I forgot the rest of what she told me but ill summarize it were both balling and I wasn't even crying because I was ashamed of my sexual preference I was crying because I wrote down things on my iPod that were so private and so secret only I could have seen then and my brother just found out my password and read it ALL of it I was SOOOO EMBARRASSED the things I wrote were about my love for a guy and I wrote about how much I loved him and my brother took pictures and showed my fucking family that fucking asshole I hate him so much. So (the rest of this chapter is going to be bold because I don't know how to un bold) I tell my mom to leave because I want to be alone and as soon as she left I get my iPod as fast as I can and delete everything I had of him so nothing embarrassing could happen to me ever again but my big sister come in the room crying wiping her tears with a napkin and says " Alex are you o.k" she starts crying again and I start crying again then I cover my face by falling on the bed again she says " why didn't you tell us " I tell her that i didn't want to get made fun of " and she says " I would never make fun of you that's fucked up" its silent for a second and she says " you know that's normal you don't have to be embarrassed " then I told her I wasn't it's because Edward read my shit she says " you shouldn't have wrote that shit if you didn't want people to read it what were you thinking" I honestly didn't know she says " when Lalito (my brother) showed us he started crying and he stayed that he was sorry for all that shit he said about me" I hated my brother less but I still hated him a lot and then I told her that I just wanted to be alone and here we are. This week was so weird because on Friday one of my friends told me about my day yesterday for some reason but I didn't know why and she said never mind it's none of my business to say so I was confused and thinking about it and I have a question how long has my brother known about this. So yea that's all about what happens today my eyes hurt from all that crying I'm still waiting for some talk from my lil sister my older brother and my dad. And I guess I fulfilled my New Years resolution it was to come out to my family. I'm so thankful to have a family who accepts me for who i am. I'm curious as to what will happen to me in the future.