Through the eyes of a Stranger

Chapter 15

Emmitt woke up stretching his arm to an empty side of the bed. He sat straight up looking around the room. He got dressed quickly and searched the house to find Tessa in a two-person chair drinking some hot tea she made them smiling at him patting a seat next to her. "Good morning my love." She said with a smile. "You left me lonely and cold this morning that wasn't very nice. After a whole week away from our routine I was rather looking forward to seeing you wake up in my arms." He said with a wink. "My apologies good sir. I grew restless." "Bad dreams?"

"Bad memories. Well not bad just I can't believe how much I held back really it's like I fought for my family and friends but not for myself because I never knew I could go a different way and if I had fought back more I might have stopped most of this but then I would never have met you and that just sounds horrible. I can't imagine going back up there and being who I was after so much personal growth and I can't ever imagine a future where you're not in it. I was trying to figure out some kind of compare and contrast thing with you and Julian just to make sure I was on the right track mind and heart and not of bitterness and judgement. I know morally that sounds so messed up but I'm trying to do what you told me to make sure I'm not being close minded. I'm Sorry if your offended."

"Tessa it's ok I'm proud your taking this seriously and heeding my words. It's ok to keep yourself in check yes it's probably going to make both of us men a little weird feeling but this needs to be done to make sure were all doing what's right for no only each other but ourselves. So tell what you're thinking." Emmitt said pulling her close into a half hug with his arm around her waist. "I was comparing how each of you handle certain situations. When men come to tell Julian of a problem he hears out the situation considers all he can physically do and try to put it in action."

"However when men come to you with a problem you think of all you can do and ask others for opinions and work or more possible options. Even though Julian has a council team they never make the most sound decisions but he never thinks to ask other people like the actual people he would ask us but if he doesn't agree or understand fully our opinion well you saw what went down with Riley. That's not a onetime thing it happens. I told him it was unsafe to hold the conference that got me down here to begin with he refused to listen look how many people got hurt and he pushed me away. I told you we shouldn't have stopped for water you ignored it also but you fought right there with me and you got me back even in record time and not almost a year."

"I will always come for you Tess. I will always get you back. There's just sometimes we have to do things beyond our control to make sure were taking care of everyone. It's not that me and Julian are ignoring you Tessa we just have to do things that even when they are a bad idea will have to happen fate has written our story already there's not much we can do but I will always value your candor and trust in you and your words."

"When I started to think of the things it started to grow me into a head ache so I started to go a different way with my train of thought. I started thinking of a future and the roles you could play in it. When I think of Julian in my future I only see friendship I can't think of him the way I used to. We can never go back to the way it was. I don't even think my heart could even if it wanted to. I need him in my future, just not in the same way I need you."

"I can't be just friends with you I don't want no one else touching me or holding me the way you do it makes me feel physically sick to think of anyone trying. It keeps coming down to only you Emmitt. You're the one I want and need. I understand being still locked in memory it's possible for change but I don't think it is anymore not after all this time, our time together. If what I had was supposed to be so damn great why do I feel so strongly against it wouldn't some part of me be fighting for it like I fight to be near or with you?"